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Greenwood/Elk columns November 7 ~ December 31, 1991 November 7th This Saturday, November 9th, from 10:00 until 1:00, there will be a Bake and Rummage Sale at the Greenwood School. Bring your items in during school hours the week before or while the sale is in progress. Contact Jane Corey. This is a fund raiser for field trips, books, subscriptions, playground equipment and so on. Genova Crane, long time Postmistress of our Elk Post Office, passed away on October 29th in Paradise, California. She was 84 years old. She is to be cremated and buried nest to her husband, Slim, in the Cuffey's Cove Cemetery. There will be no service. If you read our locally published Elk Post Office History Book, you can read about her recollections from those earlier years. There was a modest turn out, but a great time had by all, at the All Spooks and Harvest Ball, here in Greenwood/Elk. I understand the party at Courtney's, the evening before, was also a lot of fun. Now to rest up for Thanksgiving. Eva Katz was in a glancing head on collision, up by Cavanagh grade, Friday. Eva received a bump on the head and a trip to the hospital in the Greenwood/Elk Ambulance. The next morning, Saturday, I saw her behind the Elk Garage, surveying her pick-up, cause for an even greater headache. The only good news is that the opposing party was in an insured rental car. Elias Steinbuck got chopped down within one minute of play during his last football game. Knee injury. Elias has been scoring a lot of points this season, making himself quite a target. His mom said he is doing okay, he just has to stay off his leg a few days. Like I always say, "It isn't easy to be famous". A water pipe broke under the Huckaby house, catching them with a pile of dishes and just short of a bath. Repairs are under way as I speak. Cruiser, the Wilcox dog, is now sporting his sweater. The other sure sign of approaching winter is the blue, goofy looking hunting hat, with extended ear flaps, crammed down around Mel Matson's head. Elsewhere in the Us of A you have fall foliage, but around here the indicators are more subtle. Mimosa Montag is a straight A student. Her mom, Donna, told me that I had forgotten to report that. Joseph Huckaby has straight A's in math and as far as computers go, he is teaching his instructors. joseph also has a part time job doing the typesetting for the A&E Magazine. Jason Boone is quite a handyman. He built a surprisingly nice picnic table out of used lumber. He also took the Elk Market cash register apart and dried it out after a cup of coffee was inadvertently dumped upon it. I understand the State Park folks are going to go ahead and install Iron Rangers, this month, even though they will not be in use. I guess the Iron Rangers are just to enhance the scenery and give us something to contemplate. I set a new record, returning from Mendocino last Wednesday afternoon. One hour flat! Evidently I hit all the construction stops wrong. Little River, Dark Gulch and Navarro Grade. Back in the good old days I could make it in twenty five minutes. Donny Daniels said he saw a couple of whales last week. Meanwhile, I have noticed the pelicans are still hanging around. I may be wrong but it seems to me the pelicans are usually gone before the whales arrive. Maybe this year we have an overlap. I woke up this morning with the realization that the theory of gravity is all wrong. What really makes us stand upright and causes trees to point to the sky is the vacuum of space. I mean, think about it. Kind of makes you light headed, don't it? November 14th Seven forty on a Sunday morning, the twelfth of November, I flip on KZYX and hear Randy Rassmussun warn everyone to buckle up, "There is heavy fog out there". I look outside and see golden sunshine and a clear blue ocean with one gray whale heading slowly north. North? Are we confused or what? Anyway, he/she breaths six times and then heads down with a show of tail. It is my first whale of the season and the first time we have blue skies here on the coast while there is fog inland. I passed through Little River Saturday, stopping at the market for a cup of their good coffee to go. They had a petition on the counter asking folks to state their thoughts about the highway "improvement" in front of their store. My thoughts are that it was a whole lot of to-do about nothing. I always found it hard to slow down in that area before and now it seems folks will only be encouraged to go faster. I don't know what the plans are but if Cal Trans does re-stripe the highway and put in a center turn lane, maybe it will make more sense. So far, it looks like a waste of time and money. The "Dark Gulch" rework, at the bottom of the tight turn south of Heritage House is another strange fix. A lot of work was done with very little gain, seems to me. I did stop and walk down into the gulch to take a look at the new fish ladders that have been installed. First there is a man made pool constructed out of native rock and concrete for the fish to collect in as they head upstream. Next there is a up sloping concrete ramp/shute with a series of steel baffles. Each baffle has a "V" shaped cutout. Together they form a series of small water falls. Once up the falls section there are two large culverts which go under the new road fill. One is for normal water flow and the other for high water flow. They have liners in them that break p the water passing through into a series of riffles or pools. All of this is quite impressive. Sort of a putt-putt golf course for fish. Above the fish ladder and at the top of the grade I was impressed with the artistic skill of the guy driving the road grader. His ability to carve the road cut to the precise elevations indicated by the survey sticks was something to watch. Yet again, it all seems to add up to a lot of nothing. Folks will just zip around that curve a little faster and the accidents rate will be about the same only more severe. Now Navarro grade seems like a worth while project. I have seen several large trucks that have gone over the side because of those too tight turns. The fix, now in progress, should eliminate that. The only cause for concern I have is that I have heard from a reliable source that the Navarro grade is going to be re-done in about three years. Do and re-do. Engineering in a much more natural style is covered in the November issue of "The New Settler Interview" magazine. The interview with Evan Engber concerning creek repair is most informative and timely. Evan's use of willow shoots, tied together into mats and weighted down with rock begin a sequence of events where most of the work is done by nature, once the willow is sprouting. Evan's comments about streams he has restored, streams that use to be seasonal, even in wet years; now after restoration run with water all year round, even during this drought cycle. Definitely food for thought. Over all, this article makes too much sense and I'm sure that when our 'powers that be' finally realize that something needs to be done about our streams, dynamite and bulldozers will be the weapons of choice. Boy I'm grumpy. I don't mean to be or want to be but, well, watching the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings pretty much took the wind out of my sails. Last week I happened to be watching something on TV and loosing interest, zapped my way up channel. There on C Span was some silver haired devil blabbing away about something and I hit the zapper like swatting a fly. He could have been bringing to vote something of major personnel importance to me and I couldn't have cared less. I've had it with those wind bags and feel completely stimied by their process, which, I guess, is exactly where they want me. November 21st At about eleven in the evening, Thursday, November 14th, Michael and Barbara Connelly were awakened by the sound of an explosion. Barbara looked out the window and saw flames and a red glow coming from the deck of the work shop/storage shed adjacent to their rented house. They called 911 and then Fire Chief Bob Matson, announcing the fire, then gathered their three children together, still in their bed clothes and rushed out of the house. When the first of seven responding fire trucks arrived, the storage shed and house were totally ablaze. There was nothing left to do but try to keep the fire from spreading. By four in the morning there was nothing left but a heap of ashes. One of the few recognizable items remaining was the metal frame of Michael's piano. Friday morning the call went out, from house to house and over KZYX, for items to help replace the Connelly's total loss. Michael told me the response has brought tears to his eyes. A five hundred dollar donation from the Greenwood Civic Club, through Rossi's at a twenty percent discount. A five hundred dollar donation from the North Greenwood Community Association through Beno's at Harvest Market. A money donation container at the Elk Market and Albion Store. Clothing and house hold goods dropped off at the Elk Community Center and at the Mole Ranch. Three different possible homes to rent in the Elk Area. Joan and Rusty Gates are temporarily housing the Connellys while they recover from this terrible shock and begin to rebuild their life. It is being asked that any major household items that can be donated be noted on a sign up sheet at the Elk Market and hung on to until Michael and Barbara have a house in which to put the items. Once again, the Connelly's express much thanks and appreciation for the outpouring of support from their friends and community. I had a call from Pat Smith who wanted to tell me about a bobcat, up by Cameron road that has acquired a taste for kittens. She said that so far, this year, she has lost twenty two. "What?" "Yes, twenty two. I did have thirty six cats but now I am down to only sixteen." "Wait a minute. You had thirty six cats?" "Well, I acquired a bunch when I first moved here, feral cats, you know, left by the precious owner, plus my own, of course. I have been buying over one hundred pounds of cat food a month. I love cats, but this bobcat has been wiping them out. I can't even sleep at night because of bobcat dreams. It's driving me nuts." "The county trapper did drop off a trap but he said it might take a couple of weeks to catch the bobcat. Meanwhile I try to get all the cats in at night but some of them are hard to catch. This whole thing is just driving me nuts. Be sure and tell everyone to lock up their at night." Well, okay folks. Conceder yourself told. Sometimes I think cat people are crazy but, after you read the following you may put me in the same category. "Hi. My name is Sarah and I am Ron's dog, not to be confused with Ron's daughter Sarah, who lives up in Washington State. No, I'm a local. I was born down in Manchester but moved to Elk when I was six weeks old. You may remember me from those early days when I slept under the counter at the Elk Market while Ron worked there as a clerk. We use to walk into town together, back in those days and I must admit I caused some problems, now and then, because I had a lot of curiosity about children, especially those riding bicycles, and tourists, particularly those who smelled funny and wore white clothes. Ron soon taught me not to run after children and not to jump up on tourists. I must admit that life is more pleasant and settled down now, of course I am older and wiser now too. My all time favorite thing to do, here in Greenwood/Elk, is to go down to the beach. It is so wonderful with all its interesting smells that I can hardly wait to get down there. Ron moves too slow to suit my tastes, but I have to keep and eye on him because he likes to suddenly hide and then I have to go find him. He thinks of it as some sort of game I guess. Anyway, once we get to the beach it is pure heaven. I love to run to this one spot where there are usually seal gulls walking around. I love to charge up to them and make sure they all get off their duff and start flying like they are suppose to do, but the best part is when Ron finds a stick and throws it out, into the ocean. I rush out and swim until I can grab the stick in my mouth and then I bring it back to the shore. When I get back to shore I like to run off a little way and make Ron come to me to get the stick. I soon let him have it so he will throw it out again. Sometimes the waves are so huge that I have to dance back and forth in the surf and wait for my chance to swim out. I am pretty good at judging the waves. When Ron gets tired of throwing the stick and sits down on a log to gaze out to sea, I like to take the stick off to some warm and sandy spot and dig a hole. The best part is when I get the hole several feet deep and then I get the stick to lay right in the middle of the hole. Then I flip over onto my back on top of the stick, in the middle of the hole and wiggle around in pure ecstasy. Ron has never figured out what this all mean, but he lets me do it anyway and I love him for it. So there you have the high point of my life. Making sure sea gulls fly. Swimming in the ocean after sticks and digging a hole in the sand to lay in. After a visit to the beach I like to drink lots of water and then sleep. The other day, on the way down to the beach, Ron pointed out a sign to me. It said; Dogs on Lease I was quite excited by this news because I figured there might be new and different dogs showing up to play with, even though I much rather just chase sticks and dig holes. Ron told me to read it again. I did and then realized that it actually said; Dogs on Leash I must admit I have trouble reading human writing. Dogs on leash? Just how in the heck can I make sea gulls fly, retrieve sticks from the ocean and dig holes in the sand with a human attached to me? I don't understand. Ron said to not worry about it. We will continue to do what we have done for the past five years until he is hauled off to jail and I am sent off to the pound. "What is jail and what is a pound? Do they have sea gulls, sticks, and sand there? November 28th Well, first off, I'm thankful Bill Edison was out of town and didn't witness the perk hole that were dug in his "Field of Dreams". I'm thankful for my friends, Ed and Suzanne, who are willing to set up an additional card table and include my sister Diane and husband Del, who are driving up from the Bay Area for the Thanksgiving festivities. I'm thankful I have Lolli for my significant other and her wonderful sense of humor and stability during my year of grumpy fifty year old introspection. I'm thankful for this little town of Greenwood/Elk and the people that make it so... Greenwood/Elk. I'm thankful for KZYX and their variety of programs and information. I'm thankful for the Mendocino Commentary and that such a paper can exist in this day and age. I'm thankful for all the people who have worked long and thought hard about environmental issue that affect our surroundings. I'm thankful that the highway construction is finally coming to the end of another season of disruption. Basically, I'm thankful to be here and to be surrounded by friends and beautiful scenery. This column is due several days earlier than usual because of Thanksgiving, so, here I sit in the wee hours of a Friday morning, trying to think of what I'm thankful for. I called Mister Huckaby to see if he could deliver my column by noon, the deadline. He said he had a cold, don't we all, and wouldn't be going into Mendocino. Just now, Vince Carleton called to ask about Ab diving off Saint Anthony's Point. I said I would trade access to the Abalone for his taking my column to Mendocino. See. Everything works out. So. All I have to do is finish this. Lee McKnight and Barbara are back from their vacation to the Far East. I asked Lee how it was and he said there is no place as beautiful as Greenwood/Elk. Jeff Schlafer, Bob Matson's right hand man at the Elk Garage, was unloading some stuff with the fork truck and had the forks too high and tore off a trim board from the entry way to the garage. Mel, Donny, and I gathered around to say; "Oh oh" and give Jeff a bad time. Mel pointed out that that was old growth redwood and it would be hard to find another board like it to replace it. Donny and I just kept saying, "Bad Jeff, bad". You see, it doesn't take much to entertain us here in Greenwood/Elk. Bob Bardwell is one of the coast CHP's. He is renting a house here in town. Because of that we have got to know him somewhat and he usually joins us for breakfast at the Roadhouse Cafe. Pretty decent guy. After breakfast he usually nails a few speeders before his duties take him farther afield. His days here are numbered though, he bought a house down in Gualala and will soon be moving there. My dog Sarah would like to wish a happy Thanksgiving to Nute, Sheila, Sam, Coco, and has fond memories of Strider and Spock. I hope you all have a good one and I will see you on the other side of Thanksgiving, heading straight for Christmas, can you believe it. Vince called back and said he won't be going to Mendocino in time to deliver my column. Well, I will just have to try something else. If you are reading this, my column made it. If not... December 5th Ah, what the heck. I pick on everyone else, how about picking on me for a change. Let me tell you the story of two paint jobs. But first, a little background. I'm an occasional "shade tree car painter". I've been painting mostly coastal cruisers for folks who want to beat back the rust and keep going for a few more years. It is a strange business. There are lots of things that can go wrong under the best of circumstances and painting cars in a barn is not the best of situations. Spring time brings barn swallows and nest building and the attendant rain of bird droppings and twigs. I strung up a couple of sheets of plastic to overcome that problem. Then, one day, as I put the final coat of paint on the roof of a van, I heard a flapping noise overhead. I was alarmed to see that a fledgling barn swallow had fallen out of the nest and was busy making its way across the plastic sheet towards the edge, then, to my cries of "oh no, oh, no, it fell off the plastic and smack dab onto the center of the wet paint. One time I just put the last gloss coat on the fender of a dark green sedan. Standing back to admire my work I watched a large moth make a perfect six point landing right in the middle of the sticky paint. I reached gently down to pick it off which caused it to immediately flip over onto its back and flap its dusty wings and mire itself in completely. Summer brings heat and overspray haze caused by the paint drying too fast. There are different temperatures reducers available if you have them. Summer also brings thistle down and dust. Late fall brings wild temperature variations. Condensation dripping off the metal roof as the frost melts in the morning. Rain, when it happens, adds to the excitement. But the thing I have learned most of all is that the more picky the customer, the less chance of success. Here are two examples. Recently someone pulled into their driveway. They heard the phone ringing, jumped out, ran in the house and while answering the phone, watched their truck roll back down the driveway, clip a fence post with the open driver door, then slam rear first into the fence. They wanted me to realign the driver door so the wind and rain wouldn't blow in and maybe get the tailgate to close again. I exceeded their expectations in two day without a bit of trouble and as a bonus, they told me I didn't charge enough. Which brings me to my latest adventure. A silver BMW. A beautiful car and a proud owner. I should have ran and hid. No rust, no dents. She just wanted it repainted because the existing paint was scratched in a few places. Well, hey, I want to go to Baja for Christmas. I remove the bumpers, grill and lights. I mask the glass and chrome. I sand down everything to remove the scratches and insure adhesion. I pray for warm days and no wind. I plead for no bugs or birds nesting in the rafters. I banish the words, overspray and run, from my vocabulary. I buy the best paint Dupont makes. I spray on a coat of green etching primer for the base coat. I spray on two coats of sandable gray primer. I then sand the whole car with four hundred grit sand paper. After five days of preparation I am finally ready for the "Cloud Silver Metallic" polyurethane. I spray one medium coat, let it tack up a bit, then spray a heavier coat, then up the gun pressure and spray a fast random coat to make the metallic flakes lay out evenly. No bugs, not much wind, no rain. It looked good but it didn't have the gloss I wanted so I elected to shoot the Dupont Emron Clear over it. I waited two hours for the flake to settle and then shot the clear. I got gloss all right but the flake wasn't stable and floated in places, making a mottled look. I went home in despair, cleaned up, then joined my sister, brother in law, Lolli, and friends for Thanksgiving dinner at Ed and Suzanne's in Fort Bragg. I wasn't the life of the party. The next day I let it sit so the paint would harden and bought another one hundred and twenty dollars worth of paint. Saturday morning and back to the Beemer. I pray for no wind and fair temperatures. I sand the car with four hundred "wet or dry" for adhesion, then mix and reshoot the Cloud Silver Metallic. This time I wait four hours for the flakes to set. Looking good. I mix and shoot the clear. Looking good. Looking good. Looking good...damn. Mottled again. I can't believe it but there it is. I'm out of time. She needs the car tomorrow. A total of ten coats of paint. Oh god. I hope I have learned to "just say no", but wait. This guy I know has a logging truck he wants painted Candy Apple Red. I know, I know, this truck is his pride and joy but I may make it to Baja yet! December 12th Well, Rats! Not only is Christmas creeping insidiously into our little town of Greenwood/Elk, it looks like I'm stuck here to face it. No running off to Baja or Seattle. The Silver Cloud Beemer was "totally unacceptable" and 'that woman' refused to pay one thin dime for my time troubles and material expenditure. Then Lolli found that the tooth that had been bugging her would cost eighteen hundred dollars to fix, so, that's it folks. Stuck in Greenwood/Elk, watching strings of colored lights suddenly appear in the dark, drooping from this eave or that, and clusters of smiling faces who obviously haven't been listening to the economic forecasts. Take that group of women, merrily decorating the 'town tree' in the doorway to the 'Mill Office'; Prue Wilcox, Jane Matson, Leah Almanrode, Barbara McKnight, Rae Wisdom, Dorothy Neilsen, Loraine Toth and Leslie Lawson. "Merry Christmas Ron" blah, blah, blah. "Hey leave me alone. I only stopped to get my daily allotment of bills from the Post Office." "Don't forget to mention in your column that Dave and Audry Skilton donated the tree." "Yeah, right." Suddenly, Bill Edison is frantically waving at me. Now what? Bill drags me off to the Community Center where he has captured a group of Santa Elves and forced them to paint the inside of the building. Soon, with the promise of booze, someday in the future, he has me agree to help with the painting of the trim. Carol Raye, Steve Acker, Rusty Gates, John Terwilliger, Michael Connelly, Dean Wisdom, and Vince Carleton are already enslaved. All this effort to 'make nice' for the 1991 Elk Holiday Crafts Fair, this Saturday and Sunday, December 14 and 15, 10 to 5. I slink off, trying to hide and bump into Joel from the Mole Ranch who is wondering what happened to that note he gave me a week ago. I go home and dig in my garbage can. Ah. Here it is, under the coffee grounds and cigarette butts. For Immediate Release. "The dark comes early these days. We have a variety of mojos available to cheer away the gloom. We give and receive gifts. For those who would like to receive toys for children as well as food packages, the Elk Community Center is planning a special Food and Toy Bank, Saturday, December 21, between noon and 2. In order to make sure that withdrawals can be covered, we request you sign up in advance with either Krystal, 877-3294, or Lauri Graham, 877-3266 or Joel, 877-3524. Since we all know that it is far better to give than receive, deposits can be made at the specially decorated boxes at the Elk Market, Elk Post Office, The S&B Market in Manchester and the Manchester Post Office, or at the numbers listed above." I return to town for more coffee and cigarettes and what's this, waving at me from the porch of the Griffin House? My god. A mechanical Santa, twisting and waving in the wind and gloom. I might as well be living in Yuba City. I make my purchases and scurry home. The next day, when once again picking up my bills at the Post Office, I notice that the tree at the Mill Office is finished and there is an array of gift wrapped packages around the base. How is it that they haven't been stolen yet? I wonder what's in them. I sneak over and peek at the labels. One contains President George Bush's domestic policy. Another contains the Democratic Party Platform. This one here contains the Military Peace dividend. That one has the Mendocino County economic program. Well no wonder they are still here. They are all empty and screwed to the floor! And to think I could have been in Baja, watching cactus grow. December 19th Well golly. Here are some notes in my drop box at the Elk Market. Let's see what we got: Julia Rose Ziegler-Acker Born: 12/14/91 at 2:56 AM in Greenwood/Elk To Rosemarie and Charlie Acker, big sister Serena Grace Acker. Grandparents: Hermann and Marianne Zigler of Heusweiler, Germany. Mrs. Elizabeth Graham of Los Angeles, California Birth was attended by Carla Stange and Susan Wells of Fort Bragg. Mother and child are extremely well and happy resting with an early Christmas present. A Christmas service and Caroling will be held Sunday, December 22 at 7 PM at the Methodist Church. Reverend Ray Dowdy of Point Arena and Reverend Franklin Scott of Gualala will conduct the service. It will be interdenominational. Come and enjoy the Christmas Season with us here in Greenwood/Elk. Refreshments will be served. A group of carolers will gather following. Dress warmly and bring a flashlight. \tab\tab\tab\tab Submitted by Leah Almanrode And now for some statistics on the local economy. So far eleven families with a total of twenty eight children have signed up for our Christmas food and toy bank. If you can spare a little extra at this pinched period of contracting gross national product, you will be able to brighten some dark December nights for a few of your friends and neighbors who would be otherwise hurting. Donations of food and toys will continue to be collected at the Elk and Manchester stores and Post Offices, until December 20th. \tab\tab\tab\tab Submitted by Joel Waldman There, caught up again. I meant to mention, and forgot, Mel Matson turned 79 a couple of weeks ago. Happy Belated Birthday Mel. The Greenwood/Elk soup kitchen, I mean, the Roadhouse Cafe, has gone into winter hours, what ever that means. I mean, it looks like summer outside but anyways..the Roadhouse is now closed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Regular breakfast and lunch the remaining days of the week. I see Ed McKenzie hacking away at some downed cypress limbs, over on the Mitchel windbreak. Ed's wonderful old jeep holding back with the front winch cable while Ed saws away. It sort of looks like a calf branding operation. Ed's cancer troubles are not slowing him down. I wandered around the Elk Arts and Crafts fair. Folks seemed to be happy and having a good time. Santa showed up with an almost empty sack and I couldn't tell if he was giving or taking from the short people. I had one of the stuffed baked potatoes, then I saw Lewis Martin folding back the cover to the piano keyboard and Joe Smith hooking his sax to the string around his neck and decided to split. I well remember the last time I heard Lewis playing at the Greenwood Pier one evening and some woman tourist asked the waitress if she would put on a Vivaldi tape! Well, trouble comes in threes. The Beemer, the tooth, and then... Lolli and I were heading for a Christmas party last Saturday night, north of Mendocino, when a deer ran out in front of us. We both know to watch for the second deer and sure enough, a nice two point came chasing after the first. Lolli hit the brakes. The deer and us did this slow motion single frame dance which involved sliding around each other towards the edge of the road, then we hit the curb and the car flopped over onto the drivers side and skidded to a stop. There we were, lying amongst Christmas packages and broken glass, trying to figure out where the ignition switch was so we could turn off the engine. Next, some guy was opening the passenger door, asking us if we were all right, then helping us stand up and crawl out. The Mendocino Volunteer Firemen were there in no time and soon after, Schlafer's two truck. Great bunch of folks. Lolli and I made it to the Christmas party and hour late, a bit stiff and sore but very lucky. Lolli's car is waiting for the insurance adjuster. And kids... don't worry. We missed Santa's deer. December 26th Jane Matson said, "Well, instead of going off ot Baja, it looks like you're stuck here with the rest of us". Just so. So. Just what am I stuck with? My dog and I took a walk into town to take a look. First, Helen Turner said "Hi" and walked with us as far at their business, the Harbor House. Her husband, Dean, is still nursing his sore back and very frustrated to be limited in what he can do during this very busy season. I noticed Santa wasn't out and waving at me as I walked past the Griffin House. Was it something I said? "Decor R Us" at the Greenwood Pier had the roof and windows installed. Just in time for last night's half inch of rain, which was predicted by Ted Galletti the preceding Monday. By the way, did you know that one inch of rain over one square mile equals 15.6 million gallons of water? The Post Office flag was hanging straight down. No wind. The temperature this cloudy December 18th, at eleven in the morning, hovers at 56 degrees. Steve Garner pulled up to get his mail as I walked by. I stopped in the Elk Market for the only cup of coffee in town, the Roadhouse being closed with 'winter hours'. Reeby was minding the store. John Terwilliger and Mary Pjerrou were just inside the door, hashing out some political concerns. I asked Mary if she wanted to go for a walk on the beach. She said she had to get back home to work on the "To Hell With Beach Fees" issues and didn't have the time. I headed over to the Elk Garage to see what was going on. Bob Matson, Jeff Schlafer and Donny Daniels were all standing around in the office wearing Santa hats. Donny's was quite greasy. He said he keeps getting it caught in the creeper. An open bag of candied orange slices were on the counter and I helped myself to two and decided to head for home. I'll inspect South Greenwood/Elk another time. Fifth District Supervisor Norman deVall's car was home so I knocked on the door. "Come on in. Who is it?" I hollered out my name, he was in the shower getting ready for another meeting. His phone rang and he asked me to get it. I took the message and relayed the information. I then told him about a book I just finished reading. He said he is looking forward to when he has time to read. I wandered on up the road. I saw Prue Wilcox through the decorations hanging in her front room window but she didn't see me. Ed McKenzie had a visitor and they were sitting by the front room window. Ed waved, as usual. Mel Matson was walking into town and said that Jane had something for me. Mel continued on down the road and I knocked on their door. Jane had dug up some of Winona Tomanoczy's Christmas cars poems and wondered if i wanted to include any in the column. I read them over while eating an offered tangerine and a piece of fudge. I borrowed one poem which is in more of a New Year vein, so I will print it next week. We got to talking about the old timers in town and what it is that qualifies a person as an old timer. We guessed that to be an old timer you had to be born in Greenwood/Elk and live here most of their life. So who do we have? Well, Mel was born here but he went off to college for a while. Leah Almonrode, wait...I don't think she was born here and she lived elsewhere for quite a period of time. Anne Daniels? Yes, she is an old timer but wasn't she born up in Glen Ellen? Ed McKenzie? Yeah, he has been here forever but wasn't he born down in Gualala? Mary Berry? Callie Sankulla? She doesn't live in town. I said, "I know one". "Who?" "Julia Rose." "Who?" "Julia Rose Acker. She meets the requirements. She was born here and still lives her, never left town." "Where does she live?" "Across from the Post Office. You know, Charlie and Rosie's new daughter. She is a true Greenwood/Elk old timer." "Oh, that's right." The wind started up and it looked like rain so I said goodbye and headed on round the bend to home. Old timers and new old timers and all the rest of us stuck in between, I wish us all a Merry Christmas. December 31st. TOMANALYSIS Every since Homo Sapiens Became Pithecanthropus Erectus Everything that happens We worry how this can or can't affect us- We go to such extremes In order to progress it seems- Why man, almost hypophysical from fear Drolly evokes the Geophysical New Year!- Instead of reciting the Twenty-third Psalm He shudders about the A and the H bomb- At the Geneva Conference room We raise huzzahs or lay a pall of gloom Worry whether if Margaret should marry Peter The British Empire would totter and teeter- We're aghast at the erratic way The French premier and deputies parlay- We try to lift the Iron Curtain Though terrifically uncertain What to do about the contradictory spats That divide Republicans from Democrats. We restlessly insist on change No matter how it may derange\ par Our individual dispositions Or our precarious financial conditions- Our houses, clothes, society Every one else's inebriety The questionable I.Q.'s in art Their extra-curricular affairs d'heart- Everything we must remodel- The only things "as is" we coddle Are our own frail and tender egos- Most sensitive, of course, than our amigos'! Don't you think in nineteen hundred and fifty-six We all would be in a better fix If in view of all this sad turmoil We would lower to a slower-boil? Or better still a simmer? Let our beacon lights go dimmer- Curb the instinct to reform- Just be relaxed and (but not too!) warm- Enjoy our children, praise our wives Welcome husbands-from desks or dives- Look at Nature-so constant and diverse- Sip more sherry-write more verse? Maybe by nineteen hundred and fifty seven We'd achieve a status nearer heaven! And so-A glad New Year. **** Winona Tomanoczy 1956 Ah Nonnie Dear, I've no rebuttal But I do confess things are more muddled Those bombs, A and H? It's become quite clear We've no worthy targets towards which to steer And get this, The Brits, The French They are now joined by an underwater trench! And that Iron Curtain, that concrete wall? It's hacked into trophy's for one and all At home the Republicans and Democrats? Their spate's unending but gone quite flat And precarious financial conditions? Hey listen, what you bought for 250 now takes millions And your precious Mendocino, hey no quotas We're busy converting trees into Toyotas And kinder words for husband, wife? Kiss off, chill out. Get a life. So, Winona, things are winding down In this little coastal town Our thought of hope, which we hold most dear Well, I guess, we'll put off for another year. ****Ron Bloomquist 1991 |