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Greenwood/Elk columns May 7 ~ June 18, 1992 May 7th. "Dear Ron, This is the most difficult Pepper Martin Softball extravaganza in the history of Greenwood/Elk. It has taken me two months to get the Field of Dreams in shape. Also, sometime during the winter, someone stole home plate. We haven't caught the culprit yet but I think it was Pepper Martin's mother in revenge for that windy Sunday I made her endure two years ago. Raven of Earlygrow says he will file a law suit if his 'sky ball' pitches aren't called strikes. He's bringing the original set of rules, laid out by Abner Doubleday. The Greenwood Elk trophy was also missing, as you know. We found it in the tall weeds out in center field. We also found a second statue, called a "Grelk" which had been cobbled together by Dr. John Frankel years ago and languished in some wood shed, out of sight. Jamie Roberts has been commissioned to bring it up to suitable trophy standards so it can be awarded to the "Little People's" winning team. The good news is, under the supervision of Leslie Lawson and Loraine Toth, a magnificent gourmet chicken barbecue dinner "Left Field Fowl", has been planned, including all the trimmings. Al Weaver, who was not mentioned in your column last year, insists he will have the charcoal on by 4:00 PM so the people can be served immediately after the game. Ed Bird will man the blender at the Margarita Bar and we have a special guest coming from Palo Alto to throw out the first ball. My nerves are shot but I will be there at 2:00 PM sharp, Sunday, May 10th. It should be the "Mother of all games". Baby Doc Edison" Every year our poor little community of Greenwood/Elk has to go through this. Unsolicited letters and notices in the mail box (the above for example). Jammed up answering machines; "Beep" "Call me. I have important news." "Click." Obscene posters drooping from our few remaining store fronts. Phone calls at six thirty in the morning; "Hello." "Did I get you up? Hee hee!" One man, Baby Doc Edison, decked out in his baseball cap and athletic supporter, haranguing away at the heels of captive locals and tourists alike, as they try to go about their business. Starting suddenly in March, each day worse than the day before until finally, in a last gasp burst of Edison Frenzy, Mother's Day blessedly arrives and then...Strike Three!...it's over. To our collective relief and amazement, Baby Doc is gone. Simply gone. Gone away to Martha's Vineyard or some such Yuppie retreat. Gone for the entire summer. Peace returns to our coastal shelf, the dust settles, the fog rolls in, and the weeds resume growing in the Field of Dreams. We can finally sleep in and get on with our lives. Baby Doc claims it is "All for the Children", but I think he must be getting something out of it, just look at his face. I think he derives pure glee from watching a whole town squirm under his torment. Disgusting, but what can we do? I'll be there, at that god forsaken, wind blown "Field of Dreams" out behind the Gas station, May 10th, sometime around 2:00 PM. What choice do I have? May 14th. A couple of weekends ago a group of us gathered at Taylor Lockwoods for pot luck and, later in the evening, his mushroom slide show. Taylor has taken an extraordinary bunch of close up photos of mushrooms and put them to music. So, I'm sitting there listening to this great music and watching one fantastic photo after another and begin to wonder why mushrooms have so many different colors and shapes. I mean Taylor really gets in close and you can see all these gill shapes and sponge types and some with thousands of cones. Pattern and texture beyond measure which all grows up and then is gone in a matter of days or even less. And I'm wondering, what for? Mushrooms don't need to attract birds or bees in order to reproduce and yet all this variety in shape, color, and texture. Why? Who appreciates it? Well, obviously we do, but what else in our known universe, way out there or right down here, what else takes the time to sit back, eat crackers and brie, sip some wine, and enjoy fleeting images of mushrooms on a screen, set to music. Dogs don't do it though they might get interested in certain smells. Bird seem oblivious to mushrooms. Insects and worms only eat them. Are we the only observers in the macro and micro? The only conscience? The only ones who will throw a party. Are we god? It is all just for us to enjoy, or stomp on? Greenwood School Kindergarten registration for children who will be five, on or before, December 1, 1993, should register as soon as possible. Bring your immunization record and proof of birthday. You may register for Greenwood School either at Greenwood or at the Mendocino Grammar School between 2 and 3, Monday or Tuesday, May 18 or 19. Please contact Jane Cory, 877-3361 (school), or Mendocino Grammar School, 937-0515 for more info or questions. I saw Gary Poelhmann and George Lawrence out digging holes for the posts for the new backstop and basketball hoop that is being installed on the playground at the Greenwood School. Soon a concrete slab will be poured. This will be a great addition. Talk of a volunteer painting party for the school exterior is in the wind. This is the way things get done in the 90's. A special church service on Sunday, May 24th, will be held at the Greenwood Methodist Church in Elk. Charles Cordes, Superintendent of Redwood Empire Methodist Missions will conduct the service. The church will be 100 years old this July. We hope to have a celebration at that time. Also a small group is working towards getting a new foundation for the church which it desperately needs. Finally, the Pepper Martin Baseball Extravaganza is over and extravaganza it was. Three back to back games and then a really fine chicken dinner party surrounded with bouquets of flowers. All the stops were really pulled out for this one. Congratulations to the winning teams, the losing teams, the cooks, the ump, the clean up crew. What a party. May 21st. On Monday, June 27, at 12 o'clock, there will be a continuation of the Sale of farming lands in the Albion Ranch. In order to give purchasers an opportunity of examining the great advantages of these fine tracts of land, the balance remaining, unsold has been proposed until Monday, June 27th, at 12 o'clock, when they will be positively sold without reserve. The Albion Ranch Belongs to Captain Wm. A. Richardson, of Sausalito, and comprises 150 farms, from an actual and sworn survey, by James B. Thorton, Esq. This ranch is bounded North by the Rio Grande or Big River, which empties itself into the Pacific in the parallel of 38.18 and is navigable for vessels of, say nine feet draught, a distance of fifteen to twenty miles. The bay at the mouth is well protected from the Northwest winds and afford a convenient port for landing and discharging. Messieurs. Meiggs and Williams have erected a saw mill on the North side of this bay. South of Big River are two coves of bays, and are good harbors, the streams running into them are of ample and force for mill purposes. The bay at the mouth of Albion River is the best harbor between Bodega and Humboldt. This river is navigable to the head of tide water. A saw mill is now in operation on this river. Its banks are covered with fir, pine and redwood timber in immense quantities. South of Albion River is Salmon Creek and bay, which makes an excellent embarcadero. The creek is a large and swift running stream with timber on its banks. Navarro river is a large, deep stream. It takes its rise in Anderson's Valley, some fifty miles from the mouth. The banks of this river are likewise will timbered. South of Navarro river is Cuffes Cove and Bay, which is admirably suited for mills. There is a good summer embarcadero below point Arena, also below Seal Point. This whole tract of land is thoroughly intersected by running streams which, In October and in November, before the rains, were running full and strong. The banks of the rivers are never overflown by freshets. The soil, throughout the whole extent of this ranch, is uniformly fertile, and is superior for agricultural purposes; does not bake into a hard crust, as is the case in most parts of the country. It also retains moisture throughout the dry season, as is easily proved by inspection of the herbage, which is immense, and green all the year round. There is game of all kinds in abundance, elk being the most numerous, running in herds of 500 to 1000 head. Ducks, geese, and wild pigeons in vast numbers. The rivers and creek are well stocked with fish. Salmon commence running in October, and are taken in great numbers by the Indians. Salt is procured at Salt point, and Indian labor easily obtained. Geographical and sectional maps, together with the field notes are at the office of the auctioneers and can be examined at any time previous to the sale. The conditions of this sale are; $3000.00 and under, cash on delivery of warranty deeds, over that sum, one half cash; the balance in two years at 10 percent per annum. Theodore Payne and Co. Auctioneers Thanks to local historian, Del Wilcox, for discovering this item in the 1853 June issue of the Alta Californian. A special 10 AM service will be held Sunday, May 24th, at the Greenwood Methodist Church in Elk. The service will be conducted by the Superintendent of the Redwood Empire Mission. It will be a non-denominational service. May 28th My editor called me at the gas station and said, "Ya got to get your column in by one tomorrow. Memorial Day Weekend, ya know". So, here I am. I've been laying in bed with my eyes open since four thirty in the morning, trying to think of something to write and now, finally at 5:54 AM, I'm starting to hit the keys. It's not true that I have till 1:00 PM this afternoon to get this column in. I actually have till 7:55 AM this morning! That's when Mr. Huckaby rolls out of town, heading for his A&E job in Mendocino, and I hand off the column to him like a baton. He transports my column to the Beacon, hopefully, while I go pump gas. Because it is the Friday before Memorial day weekend and Bob and Sue Matson have gone to Chico to move their daughter Kristi back home after her first year of college and that means I will be all alone at the gas station for nine hours straight and will not have time to give my column another thought once the doors open. 6:10 AM The Greenwood Civic Club made a sweep through town yesterday. Actually I only saw three members, Jane Matson, Lea Almonrode, and Dean Wisdom, all decked out in orange vests and hard-hats, carrying orange bags and long handled tongs. I learned, as they passed by my post at the pump, that the Civic Club has adopted a highway, in fact the chunk they adopted runs from our cemetery, North of town, South to the Greenwood Creek Bridge. Dean Wisdom said the Harbor House is the half way point between the start and the stop. Jane complained that she wasn't finding much trash. I understand the North Greenwood Association have adopted the highway from the Navarro bridge, South up the hill to Little Guyserville. Yesterday was also the day some guy from Sidney, Australia stopped by the station and commented on how cheap gas is in America. Over in Sidney, he told me, it costs $2.80 a gallon. Elk price for regular unleaded right now is $1.54 a gallon. Don't seem cheap to us locals. Ehren Keopf won the Pepper Martin Spittoon for guts and guile, his dad reminded me as I put five dollars in the tank. I asked Mike Keopf if he is using the spittoon and said, "Yep". As long as we are on Pepper Martin; Ling Sinclair won tickets to the Giants/Cubs game at the 'stick', down in the city. I listened to Steve Sinclair tell Baby Doc all about their trip to the game, as I put gas in Steve's truck. They loved it. Steve said that the stadium is great because you are right on top of the game, the seats are so steep. They got to timing how long it took for the trash on the far side to blow around to their side of the stadium. Ling was paying more attention to the food and merchandise vendors than the game, but then, "the game is boring by comparison, anyway". The "Green Wood" was won by Kiva Bolton's team. The "Grelk" was won by Albee Coulson's team. Baby Doc wanted that documented in the Beacon for future reference, like next year, when he once again tries to find the trophies. Tomorrow, May 23rd is graduating day for college of the Redwoods students at Cotton Auditorium. Lolli Jacobsen is scheduled to get "Teacher of the Year" award. And then... We're out of here! Lolli and I are heading to the Kinetic Sculpture Race, up in Arcada/Ferndale Area and then plan to go poke around Petrolia and Honeydew, see how those folks are doing, post earthquake. That's a wrap. Here you go Mr. Huckaby. June 4th So, we did get up into the Lost Coast during Memorial Day Weekend. We ducked off 101 at Garberville and headed West towards Shelter Cove but then turned off towards Ettersburg/Honeydew. By the time we got to Ettersberg the crowd was definitely thinning out. Just Lolli, Sarah the dog, myself and an Osprey, fishing the Eel River. It's times like this I'm so thankful for shopping malls, Club Med, Disneyland, State Parks, grid lock, and VCR's. Gives the rest of you folks someplace to go and something to do. Sunday we explored Bear Ridge from Rio Del to Cape Mendocino. Then down to Petrolia to see how the folks are doing one month after the earthquakes. We saw evidence of large slides that had closed off various roads. There are still cracks in the blacktop, here and there. The girder bridge, over the Matole, just South of Petrolia, is still restricted to one lane traffic. A mobile home trailer unit is being used as a temporary store and post office in town. The fire trucks sit out on the lawn beside a house; the original firehouse damaged and listing badly. Yet, folks seem to be in good spirits. We enjoyed dinner at the hideaway Tavern and then camped on a sand bar beside the Matole. There were ten and twenty foot long cracks even in the sand bar! Sort of food for thought as I dozed off for the night. Monday found us in Ferndale watching the first of the Kinetic Sculpture Racers cross the finish line. The participants had been out there in sun, fog, and drizzle for three days in human powered machines, flailing away from the start of the race in Arcadia, down to Samoa, across Humboldt Bay, through sand dunes, past Table Bluff, then the slimy slew, up slimy slope, across surface streets and finally, into Ferndale to receive "The Glory". The first to cross the finish line was two women riding mountain bikes with a canoe suspended between them. "Here, have some glory." But it don't mean a thing. Those ladies might be the first to cross the finish line but their mode of transportation was short on engineering and definitely ain't Art. Next? Four guys on four mountain bikes with a canoe in the middle. Nice try. Have some glory. Soon Art and Engineering started arriving. Top Banana, Marital Bliss, tricycles with propellers and float bags, sculptural contraptions of brazing rod, rip stop nylon and bicycle chain. Strange devices that actually contained the divergent possibilities of Art, Engineering, and reliable transportation. Kinetic Sculpture, but... Did they make it without outside help? Did the pilots get off when entering or exiting the bay? Did they have to push, pull, or swim? Did they whine? The top awards are tough. To be an ACE and addressed as Professor when entering the room...Ah, now we're talking GLORY. But, for us it was getting late. The Awards ceremony would not be till evening. Time to head for the barn. Ferndale took a real beating during the earthquakes but one month later. What a party. Life goes on. "Hello, this summer six young teenagers, mostly from Elk, under the skilled carpenter from Fort Bragg, will be building a sixteen foot extension to the community center. This will give us more space for community activities as well as storage. We are going to need additional help on weekends and other times to complete this job by Labor Day. We are calling on you for this voluntary effort. Would you be willing to give up one or two days over the summer. If you say "YES" please call Jamie Roberts, 877-3369, Kay Curtis, 877-3564, or Bill Edison, 877-3369 so we can put your name on a voluntary help list. Remember, this is not "just for the children" but for the whole community. Sincerely, Bill Edison Community Center Board" June 11th. You know how I always seem to be out there poking around Mojave, Hayfork, or Panamint City? Well, the thought has been slowly forming in my mind, what about Greenwood/Elk? Why do I drive eight hundred miles to gawk at something I know nothing about? Why not stay home and get to know my own place. I guess what really got me to thinking locally instead of driving globally is that sign, you know, the one you pass as you arrive in our fair city, the one that says; ELK Pop. 250 I know 'they' got the name wrong, but I got to wondering how far off the population number was, too. So, I decided to figure out how many folks actually live here in Greenwood. It still is Greenwood, you know. Only our Post Office is named 'Elk'. Ah ha! I see arguments arise already. Well, let me press on to demonstrate what else I don't know. I decided to measure Greenwood/Elk, the 'actual' town, although we aren't a town, by the hook-ups to the Elk County Water District. If you are on the pipe, you live in town. If not, well, you live in the burbs or are a ridge dweller or something. Sorry. Hey, it's my demographics. So. According to my research I discovered Greenwood/Elk starts at Joan and Larry Robison's in the North, and ends at the former trailer court, South of town. This is a distance of 2.75 miles. Yes, the pipe goes that far South. East and West limits? Only a couple of blocks. The Pacific Ocean calls the shots West of here. To the East, the pipe goes up the Philo/Greenwood Road as far as the Roff Barnett's property by the sub station at the foot of the hill. So. What do we have? Well, there are eighty addresses/hook-ups. Eight of these addresses are Bed and Breakfasts establishments. They consist of, starting from the North end of town, The Sandpiper, The Harbor House, The Griffin House, The Hospital House, The Greenwood Pier, The Green Dolphin, The Elk Cove Inn, and finally, The Paunchy Pelican. We have two restaurant, The Roadhouse, open for breakfast and lunch, Tuesday through Sunday, and the Greenwood Pier, weekend dinners only. There are two churches, Methodist and Catholic. One gas station, The Elk Garage. One grocery store, The Elk Market, and the Country Store, clothes, crafts, and art. There is the Pacific Telephone and Telegraph building, the Mill Office/Post Office, and the Greenwood Elementary School. We have a Community Center/Fire House building and the closed Oasis Bar. Homes and houses? We have twenty three homes that are owned and lived in by the owners. We have nineteen homes that are full time rented. We have eighteen homes that are empty, absentee owner, used only for summer places or weekend get a ways. Okay. Okay. So what is the population? Seventy eight adults and twenty eight children under the age of eighteen. So the sign should say, Greenwood Pop 106 While I was at it I decided to also count dogs, cats and for good measure, vehicles. Now, the dogs were fairly easy because my dog knows your dog. Dogs Pop 15 Cats? Well, cats are pretty sneaky but my rough count came in at... Cats Pop 20 The vehicles I counted consist of cars and pick ups, including Charlie Acker's Electric Van, but not bicycles, skateboards, tow trucks, fire trucks, etc. Vehicles Pop 80 And finally, after several days of research, I am beginning to feel confident that I have our little town statistically nailed down, but wait, what is this? While walking up the Philo/Greenwood road, looking for cats and dogs and writing down house numbers, I noticed that the Kennedy, Orchard, and Benoit houses have addresses in the 39000 numbers. The rest of the houses on both sides of the road, and on up to the sub station, are numbered in the 35000 range. That means those three homes are FOUR miles West of their neighbors! Either that or the rest of the town is four miles East of them! I'm not sure which. Later, I discover that Mary Muto is pregnant, Doug Blaine and Patty Brady are moving away, Mr. Huckaby has borrowed a car from Gene in Mendocino, and Rocky, Laurie Graham's dog was killed by a logging truck. Confidence is no longer high. My data base is starting to crumble. I think I will go visit, SKIDOO Pop 10 June 18th. Lordy, lordy, I spend several days doing a scientific study of our town, hoping to get rave reviews but really expecting mostly static about stirring up that old, is it Greenwood, or is it Elk, controversy again, at the very least a few grumps about who really does live in town and who doesn't, but no, all I get is lambasted by Isabel, via answering machine, for not beating the drum about her new place of business in last weeks column. Well hey! I forgot. I forgot the note you handed me when I showed up at the Community Center on election day back, when was it? June 2nd? I now remember you asked me to put the information in my next column but, truth be known, I misplaced the note, then proceeded to forget all about your request when I got caught up in my exciting study of Greenwood/Elk demographics. Do you know, Isabel, I just discovered I missed a family of five? That brings Greenwood's population up to 111. Also, Lee McKnight stopped by the Elk Garage to confess to me that he and Barbara have two cats, bringing the cat population up to 22. And yes, I should have remembered your note because it was announcing the newest business in Greenwood, which brings the total number of businesses up to fifteen. Okay, okay, Isabel. Announcing the Greenwood Pier Garden Shoppe. Open for inspection this Thursday. Also, at the same time, Isabel and Kendrick are celebrating the fifth (sixth?) anniversary of the Greenwood pier Country Store. All this hoopla is going on inside the new Greenwood Pier Garden Shop, which is just South of the Greenwood Pier Country Store, just North of the Greenwood Pier Cafe. While there, check out the recently installed, gorgeous marble floor. Check it out. Okay. Can I get on with it now? Elias Steinbuck won the Scholarship from the Greenwood Civic Club as graduating Elk Senior. You can stop by the Elk Garage and congratulate him while he pumps gas this summer. Elias Steinbuck and Jeff Schlafer are my summertime gas pump jockey replacements. I am taking time off for a little vacation before fall arrives and these aggressive, attractive, intelligent, and attentive young men once again return to the halls of academia, leaving me holding the hose. June 25th. Ron gone. |