Greenwood/Elk columns

March 3 ~ April 28, 1994

March 3rd.

The weekend of the Rummage Sale is finally here, Saturday and Sunday, 10 until 4 at the Greenwood Community Center.

A note from Barbara McKnight, concerning this annual event;

"In addition to the Rummage Sale, we're going to have a raffle with the following prizes.

1. A half day trip on Courtney's sail boat 'Sail Mendocino' for a party of six.

2. A $25.00 gift certificate for Bridget Dolan's, our local Irish Pub.

3. A wicker bath set.

4. A spice rack complete with spices.

5. A special Christmas Santa. (?)

Chances are .50 cents each, 3 for a $1.00. Drawing on Sunday, March 6th at 3:00 PM. You don't have to be present to win.

For the first time, this year, rummage can be brought to the Community Center either Thursday or Friday, March 3rd and 4th, between the hours of 10:00 and 4:00, instead of just on Friday.

Thanks for all your help."

The Grand Opening of our new Post Office filled the parking lot and spilled up and down Highway One. At least that is about all I could see from my vantage point while pumping gas at the Elk Garage.

I observed the big flap, prior to the Blessed Event, as various members of the Civic Club rushed around getting everything ready. Joan Robison backed her pickup up onto the sidewalk, in front of the doors (Prue Wilcox hollering, "Careful! Don't knock the building down before we even get started"), all so Joan could climb on top of her truck and hammer the red, white and blue bunting up under the eve.

Cake, coffee and flowers were being hustled in the front door and Erna Mistress of the Post was trying to be everywhere at once. Not only did she have to oversee everything and worry about it; on top of that, it was also her birthday!

Finally the "suits" arrived, made their speeches, congratulated everyone on what a nice Post Office it is and what a nice little town we have (gives you an idea of where they must live), ate some cake, and split for their respective cities. Nothing left to do but clean up the mess and get on with our lives.

The various folks who bothered to cross the street and 'do' the tour of our old Post Office were astounded, when actually seeing the small working space and dismal conditions Erna, Denise and all the previous Postmaster/Postmistresses had worked under; "How could they have done it?"

One curious item:

I was told that the ribbon that was to be cut during the ceremony was "too nice" and so, was never cut. Does that mean the new Post Office is still not really officially open?

No. Life lurches on.

A new building sprung up while Bob Matson was away on a tow call.

Steve Acker and Kay Curtis had one of those pre-fab storage sheds delivered and deposited between their new house and the Elk Garage.

I fondly call these buildings, "view sheds".

The possibilities of what it is for, immediately sprung into my warped mind;

1. It is Steve's house since the new house is obviously Kay's, or,

2. All the tourists will think it is the Elk Garage Restroom when I tell them, as they dance around, "The 'women's' is around the Roadhouse deck on the North side."

Kay tells me there will soon be a fence and a sign, pointing towards the ladies toilet that will solve the confusion, and that the building is actually a storage shed to get the kids bicycles out of the rusting fog, plus storage for the usual debris that doesn't fit in one's closet.

The next event in town to watch for is the picking up and moving back from the highway, what we currently call the 'Abalone House', the former Rosatti Hotel.

The plowed field across Highway One from the Harbor house is being planted in peas. Ted Galletti told me that one nine acre field is already planted and the rest will be planted a bit later. That way they don't all have to be picked at once, "can't get enough pickers if you do that".

Steve Heckeroth let me drive his Electric Pontiac sports car into Greenwood/Elk and back to his Navarro ridge shop, last Sunday.

I wanted to pull up to the gas pumps at the Elk Garage and wait for Tony Galletti to come out, then say; "Give me five bucks worth" and watch him open the gas filler door and discover an electric plug-in receptacle instead of the usual filler hole! But no, the place was hopping. Cars were already at the pumps with more waiting in line. Still, it was fun to experience my first trip into and out of Greenwood/Elk under electric power.

Lorraine Toth informed me; "My name is spelt 'Loraine'. Rron!"

March 10

There was a minor flap over the commemorative card published for the Grand Opening of our new Post Office. It seems the title,

"GREENWOOD THE CITY WITH TWO NAMES"

caused outrage in the mind of one old-timer.

"Greenwood ain't a city!" he hollered, "Stop passing those things out!"

I stopped by the Post Office for a look at the offensive card and upon further reading discovered it actually covered all bases. Not only did it call Greenwood a city, it also called it a town, and a village!

Well, whatever; it makes the card even more unique and collectable. You can get one at the New Post Office for another week or so.

Margaret Feliz passed away, Saturday February 26th, at home, among her relatives, peacefully. She held on until her favorite nephew hastily returned from a skiing trip to Colorado, then went to sleep and passed away.

From Jane Corey:

"On Thursday, March 10th, the School Board meeting will be at the Greenwood School. On the agenda will be a status report and discussion of the proposed Albion School. We want as many people as possible to be involved in the ongoing discussion and planning. Because every aspect of the District is connected to every other, we want to have people thinking about possible changes at Greenwood School during the process.

The meeting will begin at 7:00 PM."

At the last Waterboard Meeting, Guido Pronsolino showed up with his son Guy and his Registered Professional Forester who is going to write the Timber Harvest Plan for his planned upcoming select cut. He knew the Greenwood Watershed and Elk County Water District has been having concerns about timber operations in the Greenwood watershed. He gave a brief history about his work in the woods, over the years (including photos), and explained what he wanted to do. He also wanted his forester to hear what our concerns were so they could possibly be taken into account before his plan is written. We on the water board thought this was an excellent way to avoid misunderstanding and save us all a lot of grief in the long run. We hope that other private timber owners in our mutual watershed will follow his lead.

Cameron Road update from Eduardo Smissen:

Somebody ripped off the "Pink Dog Butt"! This is the second act of vandalism on the Cameron Road since the "Madonna Madrone" was "de-busted". A reward, un-named but, "worth every drop", according to Eduardo, has been posted "here and there".

The remodeling of the Greenwood Pier Cafe has commenced.

Last week I mentioned the purchase of the Rosatti Hotel.

Wrong.

Bruce Wolf and his wife Linda purchased the Tascano Hotel, what we currently call the Abalone house. He plans to move it back from the highway a bit and restore it to its former hotel grandeur and have an art gallery inside on the ground floor. It could be a real addition to our town considering the type of wonderful art Bruce produces; this year and last years Mendocino Musical Festival Poster, for instance.

The rummage sale is in progress, as I speak. I am told the first day brought in over eighteen hundred dollars! A tremendous amount of effort goes into this benefit and the results are obvious. Congratulations to all for a job well done.

Two ladies stopped in for gas last Friday. I came out and they said, "Oh! You pump the gas?"

I said, "Yup".

I then started squeeging their windows.

"Oh! You wash windows?"

I said, "Yup."

"My", they replied, "we haven't had this kind of service in years!"

I asked, "Where are you from?"

"The city."

I said, "Well, civilization hasn't gotten this far yet."

March 17

I had heard the rumor that there was going to be an all female soft-ball team formed to take on the guys during Pepper Martin, May first. Sure enough, Sunday March 13, while I was out behind the Elk Garage washing the tow truck, I noticed twenty or so women swinging the bat at the breeze and running around after the ball. At eleven o'clock their coach showed up and soon had them whipped into a cohesive group. He was swinging the bat, running around, demonstrating swings and slides and aggressive catches. As time went on I noticed he was leaning against the back stop. Soon he was sitting against the backstop and by one o'clock he was slouched against the backstop. By then the ladies had that South African shrill yodel down pat, evidently planning to scare the bejebers out of their male opponents come that fateful day.

Later in the day Carolyn Carleton stopped in for gas and made me promise not to reveal the name of their coach. I won't, except to hint that he is a locally known goat farmer.

While all this was going on the men were home, preparing for Pepper Martin by drinking beer and watching Rambo movies on their VCR's.

Vince Carleton informed me that the crouching beaver cow s--t and clay oven, behind our Community Center, now has a roof over it to keep off the rain. It is now called the Temple of the Crouching Beaver.

A group of family and friends got together last weekend to remember Margaret Feliz and then, later in the day, Force Ten scattered her ashes out by Gunderson Rock, the sea stack that is the main feature in Greenwood Cove, visible from Margaret's living room window.

Twenty five teenagers broke into the Community Center last Friday night for some basketball and horsing around. A neighbor noticed the activity and called Kay Curtis who went over and ran the rascals out. For more information about this, read the second "PS" in the following response from Kay Curtis, President of the Community Center Board, to Bill Edison concerning his previous letter about lack of children programs.

"Dear Bill.

Per your letter, you will be glad to know that there is indeed a spring children's program getting underway at the Elk/Greenwood Community Center. We are busy coordinating the talents and interests of possible instructors with the needs of our kids. The program will be in place mid April. Details about this creative and exciting opportunity for the kids will be in Ron's next column.

We hope that many of the activities you suggested will be included. The Board felt that TV is overused at home and opted for more active activities. In line with the Board's thinking on this subject, we took action to donate the TV set which you donated to the Community Center last year to this year's Civic Club Rummage Sale. The Civic Club will donate the proceeds to the Spring Children's Program. The Civic Club for several years now has completely underwritten the summer session of the Children's Program.

At this time the Community Center funds will be able to support the children's program for four sessions and we will welcome contributions to underwrite its continuance.

Yours, Kay Curtis. President

PS. Pepper Martin will be held this year on May 1st and Kay Curtis is looking for a May pole specialist.

PSS. Elk kids who wish to use the Community Center at night are asked to contact Kay Curtis for keys and PERMISSION."

A grass fire broke out around 9:30 AM, March 14th, one and a half miles up Greenwood/Philo road. Evidently a power transmission line broke and set fire in three areas.

The Elk Volunteer Fire Department responded with three trucks and 12 men. Various local citizens also turned out to give a hand. CDF responded with one engine and two fire crews consisting of thirty men but by the time CDF got there the fire was under control and just mopping up of hot spots remained.

Most of the fire, consisting of around three acres, was the pasture land on the south side of the Greenwood/Philo road, across from Dick Mitchell's house, which was threatened. The volunteers' fast response kept the fire from jumping the road. Rumor has it that Dick is eternally grateful to the Elk Volunteer Fire Department but I'm sure he will get over it.

March 24

Here is some news concerning the Annual Civic Club Rummage Sale of a few weeks ago.

The Raffle winners were:

1. Boat trip on "Sail Mendocino". Britt Sandkulla.

2. Gift to Bridget Dolans. Hildegard Graves.

3. Wicker Bath Set. Roger Collins.

4. Spice Set. Claudia Pederson.

5. Santa. Joan Robison.

6. Dog Wine Cover. Maria Sari.

7. After Shave Lotion. Dean Wisdom.

The final Gross receipts for the Rummage Sale was $2702.00.

We thank everyone who contributed as well as participated.

Also, the Greenwood Civic Club would like to announce their annual $500.00 scholarship to the most deserving student in the Elk School District. Applications are available at school or call Dorothy Neilsen.

Dorothy Neilsen also informed me that the Greenwood Community Church escrow is now complete. The Church belongs to this community.

And this from Bill Edison:

"Dear Kay Curtis,

What wonderful news that the Community Center Board has finally got off their collective "derrire" and initiated a children's program. I hear that Jemma Barsby is going to conduct an arts program one afternoon a week. Hooray! This is a giant step for children-kind. But this is just a beginning - don't you agree? There is still no teenage night nor athletic program for middle school kids and little equipment besides basketballs. However, is this only the Community Center Board's responsibility? I think not. It use to be that we had many people volunteering their time and talents for a year round children's program. I will be starting Sunday Softball for kids of all ages very soon. Is there anyone out there with energy and ideas that would appeal to our young people? If so, I'm sure you would be glad to hear from them. Finally, we could use a new Ping-Pong table. The Ping-Pong Olympics are coming to Elk in 2008 and we need to practice. Open up that Community Center bank account and remember - "it's for the Children".

Respectively yours, Bill Edison."

The 101st Annual Saint Patrick's Corned Beef and Cabbage Dinner and Dance was another successful event this past weekend. It rained the day before and the day after but it didn't dare rain during the event. Lee Friburg reports that around three hundred plates of corned beef and cabbage went over the counter.

Mary Berry gave me the results of the raffle:

1. Cedar Chest. Trish Miller.

2. Betty Crocker Bread Maker. George and Shirley Zeni.

3. Makita Electric Drill Set. James Burlage.

4. Home made Afghan. Joanne Fashauer.

5. The Annual Seventeen Silver Dollars. Lester Stornetta.

6. 100 Pounds of Stornetta Potatoes. Keeffer Holmes

7. Amy's Famous Cake. Alice Fashauer

8. Surprise Bottle of Champagne. Reese Tripp.

9. Gift Certificate from the Griffin House. Ann Chadwick.

The State Park Visitors Center/Former Mill Office and Post Office now has a new roof. The interior of the visitor center has had a lot of work done to it and it will be quite a surprise to everyone when the doors finally open.

Speaking of State Parks, I understand they will host an information and input meeting at the Greenwood Community Center tonight, March 24th, at 7:00 PM, for ideas concerning what to do with their Navarro Beach.

March 31st,

There will be an Easter Egg Hunt, April 3rd, from 11 a.m. until 1 p.m. at the Greenwood Community Center.

There will be Easter Services at OUR Greenwood Community Church. Everyone is welcome.

On Good Friday the Church will be open from 2 until 4 for all faiths.

The Last Letter:

"Dear Bill,\

par Thank you for your kind letter prodding us to develop a year-round children's program. Starting Tuesday, April 26, the Greenwood Community Center will be offering a four-week, one-afternoon-a-week kids' program. Gemma Barsby will be teaching SCULPTURE in a hands-on workshop for kids 10 years through 14 years. Sheli Wingo will be making NATURE CRAFTS with kids 6 years through 9 years. Kids who have an interest in attending, please call Kay, 877-3564. This program is completely free for Elk kids, and we may need to limit the class size, so call and reserve your space.

We will also take up the issue of the ping pong table. Your suggestion that a children's program is really the responsibility of the entire community is a reasonable one. We would, of course appreciate voluntary help and new ideas on this subject.

Thanks for starting up Sunday Softball. I hear it is a great success.

Now will you get off our backs or "derrieres" as you graphically put it? My time could be put to better use emptying the mouse traps at the Communtiy Center. We do wish you a speedy and safe trip to Martha's Vineyard. When do you leave?

Gratefully, Kay Curtis.

Speaking of Baseball. Jeff Schlafer and I watched Adam Steinbuck swing repeatedly at the slowly approaching softball, over and over again to no avail. It looks like the Ladies Softball Team, which has been seriously practicing every Sunday around 11 a.m. may "kick butt" after all, come that fatefull "Pepper Martin" playoff.

Oh yes, the Pepper Martin posters are up around town, fading in the wind. Bill Edison found the Golden Spitoon and is thinking about polishing it. He is even looking around for the Greenwood/Elk trophy. There is no hope. Pepper Martin will happen.

I am offering Bill all the help I can. I am packing up ROADCOW and getting ready to leave town for my Annual Spring Break. Lolli is figuring out the traveling menu, the dog is waiting with her tennis ball. We are on the verge.

The plan is to camp overnight in Ed and Suzanne's back yard, up in Fort Bragg, this Friday night and hope they have their bus packed and ready to go so we can hit the road Saturday morning at a reasonable hour.

We are going to do the usual high speed, low level run to Bakersfield, enjoy our "Last Supper" in civilization at one of the local Basque Restaurants, and then hop over Tehachapi for the first night out amongst the Joshua Trees.

Our destination this year is the hot springs at Tecopa. We plan to operate out of there, checking out various points of interest: bad roads, abandoned mining sites, birds and flowers. Sort of fill in the blanks on our maps. We have agreed before-hand that the first person who utters the words, "It's too hot!" will be banished to the drippy fog of Fort Bragg for the rest of the summer.

We are all ready for an influx of heat. Our skin needs to be blasted by some rays. The sickly coastal pallor must be transformed from cabbage green to tomato red. Mental health is at stake.

Ed replaced all the radiator hoses on his '85 Vanagon. I installed a fresher transmission, shifting mechanixm, head gasket and gas tank sending unit in ROADCOW. Ed and I are ready for trouble-free motoring. Lolli and Suzanne have picked out about thirty pounds of novels to read. They are ready for any breakdowns.

E-ha! Spring Break 1994. Here we come!

April 7th.

Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me. Yep, fifty three years and still going. I was never "into" signs of the Zodiac until I started becoming a Californian twelve years ago. Now after living here and being around the Californian "woo-woo" influence for a while I know how to reply when I mention it is my birthday.

Folks say, "Oh, what are you?"

I reply, "I'm a Feces and my sign is Stop".

That slows them down for a while. (I'll never lose my Nebraska humor.)

Actually I like California a lot. I think it is one of the most interesting and beautiful states I have ever been in. I thought Washington was great after growing up in Nebraska, but it wasn't until I left Washington for a while and then returned for visits (my kids still live there), that I noticed it wasn't as great as I thought. Actually I find it to be quite depressing. Too conservative and too wasted, tired, worn out. The mountains have been logged, the dams have been built, the nukes sit idle or on the verge of disaster. Back then, I thought the people living in Washington were robust outdoors men and women, into REI and back-to-the-land types, but no. Look at what they have willingly let happen to their state. Weyerhaeuser, the "tree growing company". Ha!

Californians have hammered away at the land too but I don't know, maybe it is too big to really trash. There are still some spectacular places left and there seem to be folks who want to keep it that way, appreciate it, understand the importance of it. Anyway, I still have hope for California.

I like Elk. I was first attracted to the 'beauty' of this little coastal shelf. The small, I mean small town. One stop sign, no street lights. Perfect. But right away it was the people who really impressed me. They seemed like folks. Get-togethers didn't consist of "who do you work for?" and "How much do you make?". I can stop in and visit the current district supervisor or the last district supervisor and not worry if my shoes are shined or not. I can ask my question and usually get a cup of coffee along with the answer. Just folks.

I like Steve Acker and Kay Curtis's house. I think it fits right in to what Elk is. I'm saddened by the new Post Office, the interior is just like any DMV I have ever been in, and the State Park treatment of the "Visitor Center"? I don't think they "get it". They don't understand what this town is. They are driven by outside influence, regulations and requirements.

I stopped in at the State Park Visitor Center to see how the out-of-town crew was doing on the exhibits. They commented that I was only the fourth person to stop by and take a look. I think that is because us locals don't give a shit about it. It ain't our doing.

Oh it's clean and nice. It looks very professional and all. It will take about a half an hour to read all the captions under the photographs and "learn all about Cuffey's Cove and Greenwood" and then you can beat feet for Mendocino.

I mentioned this to Kevin Joe, the Park Ranger, and he said that if folks want more in-depth information, the docents have extensive files. Well, yes. I suppose that's true but I really wished the State Parks folks had just refurbished the building and then turned the docents and town folks loose on the inside. There is such a wealth of knowledge and photos and equipment available they could have filled it with "real stuff" but no. It is as clean as Disneyland, and maybe, that is all tourists really want.

I recall the museum I stumbled across in Randsburg, over by China Lake. An old stone building full of mining equipment, clothes, books, letters, bottles, rocks, with a docent sitting by the door if you had any questions. The place was as smart as you were. If you didn't know anything, it didn't mean anything. If you knew what you were looking at, it was a gold mine. None of this "explain it all to you in half an hour and then you know everything" stuff. I liked it. You could go back every day for a year and still discover something new. But not in Elk. Fast food for fast times. Too bad. Part of the 'special-ness of the place, lost.

But I'm fifty three. I'm getting old and grumpy. Yet I can still throw rocks and I live in a town of rock throwers. Californians. People who still care even though the bureaucrats slip one over on us now and then.

Come on L.P. Give us your best shot, we're only trying to make you have a real forest. Come on Doctor Kravits, what are you going to try to do with your thousand acres south of Elk?

Like Joe Bob says, Eternal Vigilance.

California, I love it, but what do I know, I'm only a Feces.

April 14th.

Ichthyoasur. Here we are, holed up for the night wearing all possible clothes, blankets wrapped 'round us, snow in the shady spots under the junipers, threatening black clouds overhead, Ichthyoasur under our feet, me and my laptop hunkered down in the bus, collecting my thoughts, Lolli reading a book, the dog sleeping in back.. What a strange vacation this has been.

You know how you think you are going to do one thing and you end up doing anything, everything else but.

Saturday, April 2nd, we roared out of Fort Bragg heading for the desert and the hot springs at Tecoupa. Spring Break 1994 was under way. My column of two weeks ago described the itinerary. First stop at the Basque Restaurant in Bakersfield. Usually we get there by seven o'clock the first evening. This time we finally made it by Monday evening! Forty eight hours later!

ROADCOW performed perfectly but SAGEFOX, Ed and Suzanne's VW bus decided to change all our plans just south of Tracy on I-5. Ed hollered over the CB that the engine was jerking and he was losing power. We took the next off ramp to a gas station and Ed put in a can of "gas drier" additive and filled the tank. "Must be water in the gas."

Back onto the freeway again and back up to speed but soon a gradual loss of power again. We aimed for the next off ramp, Ed's bus died going down the ramp exit. We coasted to a stop and rooted around in his engine compartment.

We found the coil wire was burned out at one end. Also a crack in the number four exhaust header. Lolli and Suzanne set up their lawn chairs and started in on their thirty pounds of books, Ed and I hopped in ROADCOW and headed for an auto parts house in the closest town, Patterson. Ed bought a coil wire, not the right type, but we can make it work, muffler tape and hose clamps, we considered buying a fuel pump, but they didn't have the right one.

Back to SAGEFOX and the ladies. Ed and I get to work sealing the crack in the exhaust and installing the coil wire and checking all connections and vacuum lines about the engine.

We start up the bus. It is still running rough, so we decide to head east to Highway 99 and the closest large town, Modesto, where there should be a VW garage. Lolli and I follow along behind. We make it about six miles and I notice Ed's muffler is glowing red hot. I holler at him on the CB and we coast off the road to ponder the situation. Not good. Not good at all. Lolli and I take off in ROADCOW to look around for a decent place to camp for the night. It is all walnut orchards and plowed fields.

Driving past a farm house we see the folks unloading their groceries from their car. We pull into the drive and tell them our problem.

"Sure, you can camp out behind the walnut grove there, just follow the road along the north side."

We go back and tell Ed and Suzanne and they nurse their bus along to our new camp site, Saturday night beside a walnut orchard, the California Aqueduct five hundred feet away. Sort of interesting.

Next day is Easter, nothing open in town but we go in to Modesto anyway and reconnoiter, find the VW dealership and call a tow truck outfit to make an appointment for 6:30 Monday morning, then stop at a Baskin Robbins and have a treat.

Monday morning ROADCOW tows SAGEFOX out of the walnut orchard and over to the county road to wait for the tow truck. The truck arrives and SAGEFOX is loaded aboard and hauled to the VW place in Modesto. We camp in their parking lot, reading books in lawn chairs as the mechanics have a go at it. 12:30 PM, new plug wires and a tune-up and we are out of there. Yippee, on the road again, heading for Bakersfield down highway 99. We should be there by six. Two and a half hours later more loss of power, we coast to the side of busy highway 99. Ed and Suzanne lock up and hop in ROADCOW and we drive on to find a telephone. Nine miles down the road we find one and call the VW joint back in Modesto. They say remove the catalytic converter.

Back to SAGEFOX. I hook on the tow strap and tow Eddie nine hair raising miles down 99 to the off ramp and a relatively quiet area to go to work. Out come the tools and we get busy again, the ladies in their lawn chairs reading more novels. The bolts are extremely rusty and none of our wrenches really fit. Fortunately Eddie has a cold chisel and a hammer. We bull our way through. Finally the "cat" is off and sure enough, it is plugged full of what looks like charcoal briquettes. We reinstall the muffler minus the "cat", fire up SAGEFOX and once again, we are on our way. We make the Basque restaurant one half hour before closing time. We have a fine dinner and head out over Tehachapi for the desert.

We decide to stop at California City where, in the morning Eddie can do a quick sky dive. Heading down the Tehachapi grade I notice smoke from Ed's exhaust and when we get to California City, Ed confirms he used a tank of gas to go what normally would only take a quarter tank. Oh oh.

Tuesday morning Ed does his jump and then we head for the mechanic in California City recommended by the guys at the drop zone. The mechanic takes a look and recommends a specialist down in Lancaster. Off we go to Lancaster.

We find the specialist and again pull out the lawn chairs and novels. The German mechanic determines the problem is the Mass Air Sensor. He doesn't have one but can order it and get it the next day, Wednesday. We look at the map and find that the California Poppy preserve is only about twenty miles away and limp off to camp amongst the poppies and sheep. It turns out to be a beautiful area and a nice place to camp in spite of it all.

Next day, back to the specialist and the installation of the Mass Air Sensor. 12:00 PM and yippee, vacation is finally happening. Off to Barstow, then Baker and then north, towards Death Valley and the hot springs of Tecopa. SAGEFOX has good power, some smoke and poor mileage. We soak in the hot springs and find a place for the night down in a draw by huge cottonwood trees.

Thursday morning Ed and Suzanne have decided that rattling around in the desert is not a good idea the way the bus is running. So far we have always been somewhat close to help when trouble struck. Being out in the middle of nowhere might not be a good idea. Also, with the bus running rich it is probably washing the cylinder walls and wearing itself out. They call the specialist back in Lancaster and tell him what is happening and that they are on their way back to him. We part company at Tecopa, Lolli and I decide to head north, Ed and Suzanne head south. And that is why Lolli and I are sitting in the snow over the bones of the Ichthyosaur.

You see, after parting with Ed and Suzanne we looked at our map and discovered an old trail called Furnace Creek Road, leading north out of Tecopa, along the eastern edge of Death Valley. If the road is passable we should eventually arrive at Dantes View.

Off we go and in only two hours we are mired down in loose sand. Stuck! We have lunch while listening to the vast silence, then I let the air out of the tires and, with Lolli pushing, back out of the soft spot, drive back a ways to hook up with the correct road we missed. I pump up the tires with the hand pump (don't leave home without one), and finally, after eighty miles of washboard, arrive at the blacktop road to Dantes View.

Dantes View is well worth the effort and there is a much easier way to get there but then, that's not my style.

The next day we head for Death Valley Junction, then up to Tonopah, Nevada, for lunch and increasing rain showers. Then we find an interesting road that heads north to Gabbs, Nevada. This is roller coaster dirt for miles and miles. Suddenly we see a sign, "Ichthyoasur Site, 19 miles". Whoa, what's this?

We arrive at sunset and camp for the night. It starts to snow! We wake to just over an inch of snow on the ground! I fire up the expresso machine to raise our spirits and then find the resident Park Ranger who opens the Ichthyoasur Site; a building covering the dig where nine, 250 million year old, marine reptile fossils were discovered. Really quite amazing.

Then off to Gabbs and better weather, up to Fallon, over to Sparks, Reno, Donner Pass and one last camp out in the Mendocino National Forest up by Indian Valley Reservoir.

SAGEFOX introduced us to places we had no intention of going, totally changed the "original plan" but, this is how we learn new stuff.

ROADCOW did excellent except for the used alternator I bought last year in Colorado. It crapped out near Fallon, Nevada. Western Auto had a rebuilt one. Guaranteed for a year!

When we got home my answering machine told me that Ed and Suzanne got home okay and SAGEFOX is running good again after installing an oxygen sensor and a new catalytic converter in Lancaster. Now we are all set to go but, unfortunately, "Spring Break 1994" is over. Oh well, we won't soon forget this one.

I'm told the lady softball players are now ready to sharpen their teeth. This Sunday at 2:00 at the "Field of Dreams". They are hosting a scrub game against all comers.

April 21st.

So I get home from the desert and am catching up on a few things around the place when my good friend Ramone comes rattling in the drive with his pick-up. I get out the lawn chairs and we sit in the late afternoon sun and shoot the breeze. I mention to him about this pond I came across out in the desert, close to the town of Tecopa, and I'm telling him about all the ducks that are swimming around. I'm telling him about this one duck I have never seen before that had a blue bill, black feathers with white cross hatching and a reddish breast. He says, "Oh yeah, ruddy duck. I don't care how you cook them, they don't taste very good."

Naturally we start talking about environmentalism. He's telling me that he read somewhere that Ducks Unlimited and Quail Unlimited and all these various hunting groups have given, through duck stamps and hunting fees and licenses and such, over five hundred million to help buy flyways and nesting ponds and habitat for wildlife, where-as those "damn enviro-mentalists" only pay for lawyers.

Well, that sounds about right. I hear that Michael Milken, of Savings & Loan scandal fame; as soon as he got out of jail, became a financial professor at some University. General Swartzkoff is on the board of the Nature Conservancy, Ollie North is running for Senator and making a bundle at speaking engagements.

I believe it. I believe it all. We are all loony.

The next evening I'm coming home from work and there is Prue Wilcox tossing weeds and lawn clippings into Li Foo Gulch. I slam on the brakes.

Toss. toss.

"Hey, You ain't 'spose to do that, it's State Park Property!"

"Haven't you heard? Kevin Joe broke his ankle! Har har"

Toss toss.

When we finally stopped laughing I said,

"Jeeze, that's too bad. I'm going to get my dog and go for a run on the beach!" By the way, how bads the break? Maybe we can start planning Fourth of July!"

I know, sick, but there it is.

Saturday, I stop by to see Kevin Joe and there he is, lying on his couch, plaster cast up to his knee, crutches leaning against the wall. Yep, slowed him down pretty good. Had to have screws and what not to put it back together. He can't drive a car. I offered him some books to read but he said he already had quite a back log of reading material. I am sure he would appreciate some support with grocery-getting or a hot meal delivery. Stop by and say hi. He said it will be a month or so before he can go back to work full time.

Most folks won't tell me anything, they are leery it will wind up in the paper. That's probably why I didn't find out about "The Big Opium Bust" in town until it was all over.

Last August, some out-of-state folks, staying at one of the local B & B's spotted the woman gardener pushing a wheelbarrow that had weeds and some poppy seed pods in it. The poppy pods had cut marks on them.

Oh Oh.

The tourists get back home and tell the cops, those cops tell our cops and soon the suits and short haircuts swoop down and investigate. They try to pin it on somebody, anybody, ...how 'bout the gardener. Months drag by and after a local support group is formed for the gardener, some female bonding and woo woo, the court date arrives last week. The narcotics folks don't show up for court and the case is dropped. A big deal over a couple of leaky poppy pods. Us locals are sitting around in the local pub, sucking up Guinness, pondering the meaning of it all.

Life is strange.

Judy Hale, one of our local artists, is having a show at Tangents in Fort Bragg. It opens on "First Friday", May 6th, and runs through the month. Judy told me she has her usual big stuff on canvas plus some work on paper and miniatures at "people's prices". Check it out; she does great stuff.

May 5th, 7:00 PM, at the Greenwood Community Center there will be Candidates Night. A good time to come out and inspect the cast of characters running for various offices in this district; supervisor, judge, sheriff and what-not. If they all show up it could be around twenty-seven contestants.

I talked to someone who saw the "Candidate Night Road Show" down in Gualala last week and he said it was hilarious, very entertaining. "Just Bruce Anderson made it all worth it."

The price of admission is free so why not shut off the tee-vee for one night and come on out for some serious entertainment and a laugh.

April 28th.

This just in; Dave Neilsen reports that Mr. George T. Crown, of Reno, Nevada, will be researching the spread of Pampas Grass, here on the coast, April 29th until May 2nd.

Jacob Perrill, an Elk teenager who is a junior in high school, has had a 4.0 grade average for three years He scored in the top fourth in SAT tests! He has now received a "gold plated" invitation to U.C. Santa Barbara. He and his mother, Beth, are going south to check it out. I'm told his field of interest at this point is Health Sciences.

This coming Sunday, May first, Pepper Martin Day. Kay Curtis handed me the schedule:

1:30 May pole dance, Community Center back yard.

2:00 Kids softball game.

3:00 Elk Women verses the Old Men of Greenwood.

4:00 The Young Jocks Game.

5:30 Dinner and Bar. At the Community Center.

Cajun Chicken by Al Weaver.

Egyptian Flat Bread (from the crouching beaver), by Vince Carleton.

Greek Salad.

Brownies with vanilla ice cream and fudge sauce.

Served with coffee.

$6.50 Adults - $5.50 Kids

Award Ceremony, Bill Edison.

Bring your lawn chair, sunscreen, windbreak, overshoes, snow-chains, mittens, sunglasses, bath towel and shovel. I mention this as today, April 25th, the rain and hail pound down, but by May first? Who knows.

Oh yes. Bill Edison informs me that the "Pig Hats" are for sale once again. One pig or two?

May 5th is Candidate night at the Greenwood Community Center. 7:00 PM. Don't miss it.

The court date for "Breakfast First" from three years, ago has finally arrived; May 2nd at 9:30 in the courthouse in Ukiah. The question of cumulative effects of harvesting verses our town water will finally go before the judge. Last-minute settlement negotiations are happening and the trial date may be set back but, at this time, it looks like a go.

Once again, because of something I wrote about in my Greenwood/Elk column, I managed to set my answering machine on fire. This makes the fourth time in seven years. Not a bad average, I guess, considering, but still, I'm always surprised. You see, the items I am actually a bit fearful of, nobody ever says boo, but wham, something I didn't even suspect gets me lambasted. Funny business.

Well, anyway, my apologies to those offended (you know who you are), and I will lurch on, trying to hammer out my "weakly" column about the little village of Greenwood/Elk without stepping on more land mines.

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