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Greenwood/Elk columns March 2 ~ April 27, 1995 March 2nd. Okay kids, This is finally it. This weekend, the Greenwood Civic Club proudly presents the 9th Annual Rummage Sale. Saturday, March 4th and Sunday, March 5th, at the Greenwood/Elk Community Center from 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM both days. This years proceeds from the sale will provide a scholarship for a deserving high school Elk senior, and benefit the Greenwood/Elk Computer Center, as well as the Girl's Soccer Team. Food and homemade baked goods add to the fun. Come for food, fun and treasures. Collection days for the rummage sale are Thursday March 2nd and Friday March 3rd. Drop off items between 10:00 AM and 5:00 PM. both days. If you need items picked up call Lee McKnight at 877-3230 or the Whiz at 877-3224. I wonder what mystery item will arrive in a plain brown shopping bag this year? Every year there seems to be something to get the ladies all red in the face! Something we can't mention in a family newspaper but you can always tell me. Anne Daniels informs me that "the Elk Volunteer Docent Council will open the State Parks Visitor Center on Saturdays and Sundays from 11:00 AM until 1:00 PM starting March 4th". If you haven't taken the time to check out the Visitors Center you might fit it into your Rummage Sale Weekend. It is well worth a look. The Greenwood/Elk Computer Lab is happening and there have been several meetings of the "Computer Club". The Computer Club is still in the formative stage as yet and anyone interested in finding out what is going on and what is available in the way of equipment are welcome to come by the Community Center and find out. We are having guest speakers and demonstrators talking about and showing us how to do things with the system. At one meeting, Theresa Whitehill showed how to manage files in a PC Windows environment. How to create directories and "drag and drop" files, etc. At another meeting, Charlie and Steve Acker demonstrated how the Internet works and how you can get onto it from Elk. We plan to have various other computer topics discussed and demonstrated during upcoming Computer Club meetings. To find out when the next Computer Club meeting will be, stop by the Community Center and visit the Computer Lab during the hours mentioned in the following message which was waiting for me on my computer when I got home last Sunday. ------------ FROM: MCIMAIL:0003911723, MCIMAIL:0003911723 TO: Ron G. Bloomquist, 75562,3337 DATE: 2/25/95 9:51 PM Re: Lab Information. Hi, Ron. Can you run this, please: The Greenwood Computer Lab is now up and running. Through 10 March, hours have been extended from 4 to 6 to 4 to 8 PM. Kids are welcome on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays; adults on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mixing did not work, as adults, wanting to process words, did not get along with kids; wanting to play games. Separate days were deemed the solution. If those days and hours don't work for you, call Louis at 877-3598 or 877-3521. Total novices are welcome. Basics will be demonstrated. -------------- Ah, computers. Why fight it. Bob Matson and Don Daniels attended an auto mechanics class over in Ukiah where a computer "All Data" system was demonstrated. It consists of four CD-ROM disks that you can put in your own computer, if you have a CD-ROM drive, and then punch in the model, year of manufacture, engine type and so on and voile, a complete menu of mechanical, electrical, computer control information for that particular car, with schematics, diagrams, exploded views, everything you could possibly want to know. The amount of information contained with-in those four disks would fill up a library wall with books. The ease of searching out the information compared to dragging out books and going through the table of contents and the index is mind boggling. The system is a bit pricey but they send you updated information every quarter. Bob is thinking about it. I recently read, in The New Yorker, about a similar situation where the complete works of approximately one thousand two hundred and fifty English poets, starting in the year A.D. 600 and reaching all the way to the beginning of this century, was put on four CD-ROM disks; roughly one hundred and sixty-five thousand individual poems. You can type in "sleep" and "death" and ask the computer to show you every poem published between 1800 and 1835 that contains those two words. You would be given six hundred and seventy-two poems! Definitely something to read in your spare time if you happen to have the fifty-one thousand dollars on hand to purchase the set of disks. The posters are up and the raffle tickets are being sold for the upcoming 102nd Annual St. Patrick's Corned Beef and Cabbage Dinner and Dance, March 18th. Mark your calendar and get ready for a great time. March 9th I am now starting my ninth year of writing this column. It just occurred to me that the Greenwood/Elk Rummage Sale, in its ninth year, and I are running neck and neck, and both dealing with second hand items. I asked my computer to tell me how many words I have written over the past eight years about our wee town. It grunted for a split second and kicked out the number 248,596. It looks like I only have 1,404 words to go to reach the quarter million mark. I should pass that milestone next week. I also got to wondering how many people now live in Greenwood/Elk. What I consider to be folks living in town requires that they actually live here full time and are connected to the Elk County Water District. That means water hook-ups starting from the north of town at Larry and Joan Robisons and south to Lee and Barbara McKnight and east to the sub station at the foot of the hill on the Greenwood/Philo road. The actual count, after several phone calls to Kay Curtis, Jane Corey, Mary Pjerrou and Bob Matson, who helped nail down recent entries, comes out to be a population of 109. Have you seen the beautiful cover on the latest A&E Magazine? Local Greenwood/Elk artist Judy Hale did the painting. She named that painting "Elk Silence" and, by golly, if you take the time to sit and look at that painting, and think about it, it sure enough is. Well done Judy. The latest edition of Outlook has an enjoyable article about Callie Sandkulla. Sandkulla, not Sandculla, but anyway. The paper is free and copies can be found on the counter in the lobby of the Post Office or in the Elk Store. Bill Edison called me and asked me about the Internet. He wondered if I could send "e-mail" to his son in Washington state. I said sure. He gave me his son's e-mail address and the message he wanted sent. I sat down and fired up my computer, entered the message and address, and sent it. A message appeared on my screen informing me that there was no such address. I called Bill back and gave him the news. He said he would call his son in Washington state and recheck on the e-mail address. Soon Bill called back to say he had written it down wrong and told me what it should have been. I fired up my computer again and entered the correct address and resent the message. Then Bill called to ask me what his son had said. I told Bill that you don't sit around waiting for an immediate response; I would check "my mail" in the morning. The next morning I fired up the computer and sure enough, I had mail waiting. I down loaded the message from his son. Soon, too soon, Bill calls me. I read him the message. So lets see. Bill called me. Local call. I called Internet. Long distance. I called Bill. Local call. Bill called his son. Long distance. Bill called me. Local call. I called Internet. Long distance. Bill called me. Local call. Bill's son called Internet. Maybe long distance. Depends on his node location. I called Internet. Long distance. Bill called me. Local call. So what was this important message? Bill's message to his son: "Study your Antelopes. There will be another test." Son's message to Bill. "Study your elephant seals. When are you getting your own computer and e- mail system at home?" The phone companies must be tremendously pleased with the "Information Highway" and the idiots who use it. Jane Matson reports that we have had around thirty inches of rain so far this season, still short of what is considered to be the average, forty inches! Hard to believe but, there it is. The very first Elk Teen Dance features Jessie McGary on Drums. This will happen this Saturday night at the Greenwood/Elk Community Center. Posters are up around town for more information. I saw Mary Berry, Denice Pacheco, Joan Valenti and Joan Robison working in the kitchen of the Community Center during the 9th Annual Rummage Sale. Mary Berry said they were warming up for the upcoming 102nd. St. Patrick's Corned Beef and Cabbage Feed and Dance, March 18th. The Rummage Sale did quite well again this year and was a great effort by the all volunteer staff, as usual. Bridget Dolans is going to open for the evening of the Actual St. Patrick's Day, Friday 17th. One night only. Leslie said she plans to actually open up for weekends starting May 5th. Cinco de Mayo. Meanwhile The Greenwood Pier Cafe is holding the fort with daily 8 - 4 breakfast and lunch and dinners 5:30 - 9, Thursday through Monday. March 16th I was out wandering around town after work last week looking for Louis Martin. I knocked on his door but he wasn't there. I then noticed I could hear a lot of laughing and see smoke rising into the evening sky just on the other side of the hedge over at the Mole Ranch. What's this? I crawled through the brush and discovered a party in full progress. Almost every one was there except me, of course. Nobody invites me to parties around here anymore because I'm "the reporter". Well I busted in anyway and grabbed a drumstick, fresh off the barbee, and a handful of potato salad. I soon discovered the party was honoring the Seventh Wedding Anniversary of Joel and Jenia Waldman. Big deal, you say? Well, when you stop and consider the combatants involved in this marriage, seven years is a remarkable achievement. Just before I snuck back out the door, Joel read a poem he had constructed for the occasion. Here it is: Seven years of Hard Times on the occasion of our anniversary. There is no need to hear a poem about our love. Everybody who lives is blessed by God Once in a while. But I know that Fortune's Hostage and I will come in Paradise together at the end of this sentence. Congratulations Joel and Jenia. The Elk Computer Club has formed a small group that will oversee the use, funding, and hooking up of new equipment and look into the enhancement of the connection to the Internet. Theresa Whitehill, chair, Steve Acker, treasurer, Peter Talbert, secretary, Charlie Acker, Internet guru and Joseph Huckaby and Jason Spitler as computer technicians who, between them have more experience with computers than all the rest of us put together. Here is Bill Edison's overview of the Teenage Dance....... "Dear Ron, The first teen-age dance at the Elk Community Center was a success - I think - but you'll have to ask more knowledgeable folk like Jesse, Max, Athena or Maria. Several teen bands played to 75 crash-dancers of all shapes, sizes and ages. I was walking across the floor and got blind-sided by an exuberant young dancer and landed on my butt. The gracious teen apologized profusely. Of course, I was at fault for not watching out and my agility is not what it used to be. They all seem to be having fun, which was the main purpose of this historic event. A spaghetti feed was organized by Laurie McGary and much applause should be given to the chaperones: Vince, Jemma, Kay, Denny and Gary - who lent his sound equipment. I especially liked Jesse McGary's playing on the Valve Trombone. I found myself tapping my feet in spite of myself. It was great to see so many teen-agers enjoying themselves at the Community Center. Let's do it again when every one's ears have recovered. Painfully yours, Bill Edison." You know how we all resolved, last January, to be more prepared when the next storm hit. Last January, we learned what it was like to be without power for a while and we discovered we didn't have enough candles, batteries, drinking water, propane, kerosene, dry wood, food, ice and so on. Well we learned all that and, by golly, next time we wouldn't get caught short, except that, the winter storms had finally ended, we thought, and the sun came out and we decided we really wouldn't have to think about it again until next year. That's why, last week, there we were again without drinking water, gas in the car, propane, candles, dry wood and so on. Maybe this time we'll get it. Actually, I guess it is all my fault. Last week I mentioned in my column that we had received thirty inches of rain so far this season and that we were still ten inches short of the average. Well, God must read the Mendocino Beacon and She sent the missing ten the following week. Gee. Thanks. Enough already. Okay kids, this is it. Saint Patricks Day. You know the drill. March 17th. Bridget Dolan's is open for the warm up and, March 18th. The 102nd Annual Saint Partick's Corned Beef and Cabbage feed and Dance. Come early and stay late. March 23rd The 102nd Annual Saint Patrick's Corned Beef and Cabbage Feed and Dance snuck in between rain storms. How do those Altar Society ladies do it? Attendance was good and the Community Center was full of smiling faces wearing the Green and talking about the good old days. It really is the annual big gathering of old-timers. Monday, Mary Berry stopped by the gas station to hand me the results of the Raffle. Here you go. 1st Prize. Cedar Chest Candice Watson Sebastopal 2nd Prize 16" Echo Chain Saw Ralph Bean Manchester 3rd Prize Afghan Elaine Reed Elk 4th Prize 19" Color TV Candy Harris Point Arena 5th Prize Toaster Oven Dorothy Bloyd Boonville 6th Prize Bedspread Joseph Marteniz Elk Store 7th Prize 17 Mounted Silver Dollars La Verna Mendocino 8th Prize 100lbs Stornetta Potatos Lola England Fort Bragg 9th Prize Amy's Famous Cake Jim Cunningham Gualala 10th Prize Electric Blanket M. Bennett Point Arena Congratulations one and all. Our Friends, Ed and Suzanne and Taylor went to the dinner with Lolli and I and during the dinner, every now and then, several door prizes would be announced. When a bottle of Scharffenberger Champagne was held up, our friend Suzanne said, "That's mine!" and when the number was called, sure enough, it was. We plan to save it for our Annual Spring Break trip to the desert Lolli and I and Ed and Suzanne are planning. We didn't stay for the dance, I'm getting old you know, but I hear the band "Good Medicine Show" was good and there was room for some serious dancing. Boom. The power just went out. Fifteen minutes later... .....and now it is back on. Here it is Monday evening and I'm running late with my column. My plan was to write the column after work and fax it in to the Beacon and now this. I sat in the dark for a moment, staring into the dark, then went and turned on the flashlight and then lit the kerosene lamp. Then I went out and fired up my VW bus and drove it up by the door of my dingy hovel. I left it running and plugged an extension cord into the power inverter I have in the bus. As I was leading the extension cord in the door and over to the computer, the lights came back on. Now what? Do I trust the power to be back on for good, or what? I find I still haven't got my emergency situation totally together yet. I need a battery back-up for the computer and a real generator close to hand. Either that or go to bed and forget the whole thing. Yes the weather has been rather unsettled. Here it is the first day of spring and we have had down pours followed by sunshine and beautiful rainbows, followed by (this evening), hail and even snow flakes. It sure seems like it has been a long time since we have had nice warm sunny weather. I have been looking forward to the blessings of living on the ridge since I moved here last November and I'm still waiting. I have some socks hanging out on the line I washed last week and all they have done is get repeatedly rinsed! When does the dry cycle start? Well, the power just "browned" again so I'm going to cut this short, fax and bail out. March 30th It is a Sunday morning, March 26th. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and free of clouds, the ocean is relativity flat, the wind has not started up, yet. Folks around town are staggering out their front doors into the warm sun shine, throwing off their rain coats, rubber boots, coats, sweatshirts, long johns and gloves, laying aside their jumper cables, starter fluid, chain saws, plastic tarps, bailing buckets and caulking guns, opening their doors and windows on their cars and houses. Even the birds are standing around on the power lines airing their arm pits. Yippee, we made it. At last...summertime! I see Doctor John Rafferty is out with his clippers, hacking a swath around his DMZ. Rusty Gates is leaning against his pickup, in front of the Elk Store, and points out to me the fiberglass coating he put on his truck roof to stop the rain from coming in. He tells me the story: He cut a sheet of fiberglass cloth to the size of the roof and then painted it with a coat of resin. When that "hardened up" he added another coat. When that was "set" he decided to add one more coat. even though it was getting late in the day. Sure enough, it was too cool to harden so he drove the truck into the barn and put a heat lamp on it. In the morning he went out to check it and found his cat stuck to the roof. He had to take a razor blade and carefully cut the cat loose. I was wondering how Rusty had achieved that fuzzy patina on the roof of his pick-up. During the depths of this last series of storms, Connie Sinclair was hurrying for work and did a one and a half off the Greenwood/Philo road with her good old trusty slant six Dodge. When the tires stopped spinning, she crawled out of the upside down car, climbed up through the poison oak to the road and walked on down the hill to work at the Harbor House. The next day, Bob Matson righted the car with the tow truck, put it back on the highway and Steve Sinclair drove it on home, or tried to. The radiator was into the fan. Forget that. So Bob towed it to the Sinclairs where it will become either a parts car, a kids dorm or, with some hammering and duct tape, maybe resume life on the road. Our local goat farmer, Ed Bird, says he has about had it with being President of the Community Center Board. He said his phone has been ringing night and day. "Ed, the garbage cans are full at the Community Center." "Ed, there are motor homes parked all over the Field of Dreams." "Ed, the propane tank is empty at the Community Center." "Ed, the garbage truck and the propane truck can't get to the Community Center because there is a line down across Lousia Street." "Ed, the kids broke into the Community Center again." "Ed, shouldn't the proposed stage addition to the Community Center be removable?" "Ed, we want the stage addition to be non-movable, or else." Now, Ed has proclaimed that the recent series of storms have damaged his phone line. He claims he can call out but, for some reason, you can't call in. Give him a call and check it out. Bill Edison is working himself up into a lather again. His self-inflicted, annual, Pepper Martin, Hoo-Ha, is appearing over the horizon and things always get frantic around here for a while. But soon it will be over and Bill will retire to Martha's Vineyard, to harass his east coast minions and we will be left in peace, once again. Del Wilcox came into the store to get his Sunday paper, his face was as bright and sunny as the day outside. It is good to see him looking chipper again. Speaking of bright and chipper. During the dark and dismals I was driving into town from the north, trying to hold my lane in the gale force winds, duck flying branches and peer out through the rain and fog streaked windows. All of a sudden, off to my right I noticed a riot of color. The Rhododendrons at Mel and Jane Matsons and next door at the Mazzonis were in full bloom. It was the most joyful, life affirming, vision I had seen in months of gray. They gave me hope. Joel Waldman told me I had his poem all wrong in my column. But of course, Joel, that's why I'm the reporter. Anna Taylor made the comment on KZYX that it was a glorious day in Boonville. She had never seen things so green and that all the trees are blossomed out and if you don't have three inches of mud in your kitchen, it's fantastic. I see Bob Matson out back of the Elk Garage, scrubbing the mold off the grates of his barbecue, getting ready for Becky's 20th Birthday Party. Yes indeed, I think we have all survived to enjoy another summer, but it was close. Man was it close. April 6th, From Charlie Acker, "The Greenwood Community Church is putting on an Art Auction featuring local artists. So far about 15 local artists have agreed to donate a piece of their work (any medium) that will be auctioned Saturday, May 6th starting at 1 pm. The art will be displayed at the Church during the week before the auction so people will get a chance to view the work, and make a sealed bid if they cannot attend the Saturday auction. Any artists who are interested in donating to the auction should contact Charlie Acker, 877-3474 or Polly Green, 877-3550. Local artist Bruce Wolfe has donated the rights to produce a series of prints of one of his paintings, "Last Light at Greenwood Cove". The prints will be available at auction time, either signed ($35) or unsigned ($25), or signed and framed ($75). It is hoped that the project will generate funds towards a paint job and a new roof." Bill Edison called to tell me that new posters will start showing up around town this week. Something about the return of the "Greenwood Pirates, The 1902 Champs of Greenwood". He said to look in the latest edition of A&E magazine for more information. In the mean time, this is what I have been able to find out about the returning "Pirates" who will play the young jocks of this town during the Pepper Martin Extravaganza on Sunday, April 30th. Apparently, the baseball playing days of the original Pirates from 1902 are pretty much over but Bill is rounding up another crew to represent the old Pirates. This group of hackers and spitters played the game in Greenwood/Elk during the seventies. Bill has repeatedly called and harangued these poor folks into leaving their current day jobs and returning to Greenwood/Elk for the main event. Here is the list, so far: Captain Richard Pechner, 2nd base. Pechner General Electric rivals PG&E in Marin. A Pepper Martin type player who stole forty seven bases without a jock strap in 1979. Louis Schwartzberg, left field. Hollywood Mogul and ace cinematographer. Covers a lot of ground in the out field but some times distracted by pretty women and sunsets. Byron Kurokawa, right field. "Nurse of the Year" in Santa Cruz. Triple by-pass heart surgery won't keep him from going all out (despite thistles and barbed wire in right field). Ed Bird, catcher. Goat farmer and margarita mixologist. Will his knees hold out behind the plate? Intimidating stare scares even his own pitcher. Steve Greenburg, first base. Rental tycoon. Saved L.A from ruins after earthquake. Seven footer - will catch any wild throws at first base. Works out regularly - every three months. Ray Berry, center field. Expert logger, runs like a deer but can he avoid pot-holes in center field? Bob Matson, Rover. The original Mr. Goodwrench. AAA awards for car towing. Promises to have ambulance ready and near by this time. Dependable ball player. Dave Mallette, third base. Logger turned surveyor. Perhaps the best looking ball player on the team. Will the bad hops in the infield mar his beauty? Everett Liljeburg, designated hitter. Man of the woods. Cuts down trees faster than he can run. Bad back has turned him into a designated hitter. Swatted the longest ball ever recorded at Mendo High. Baby Doc, manager. No apparent day job. Will anyone be able to shut him up? He is still looking for replacement players ("Don't call them scabs"). Hates to lose. Well, there you have it. Baseball mania descends upon our small town once again. Already the women are out behind the Elk Garage, warming up. The cold north wind is starting to blow. Brace yourself. April Fools slipped past me this year without any jokes except maybe one. On KZYX I was listening to NPR news and one segment was about some engineer in Scotland who had invented a new type of bridge. They talked about how the existing highway bridge was experiencing gridlock and the old railroad bridge was slow. His bridge would be cheaper to build and would use the latest technology. He plans to install the bridge across the Firth of Forth. His new bridge design uses electromagnetism to part the waters and allow cars to drive across on a sort of causeway. The only problem would be ships. "They would have to shut the electricity off now and then to let the waters close and the ships to go by!" They also interviewed some high up official in Washington who expressed interest but said possible health problems caused by electromagnetism would have to be investigated. Now I ask you. Did NPR slip one over on us? They did end the segment with "Happy April Fools Day". April 13, So it's an average day at the Elk Garage. Folks are stopping by to get gas, oil, propane and tires fixed. The tow trucks are out and about with Bob and Ed unlocking cars for folks who locked their keys inside, got stuck in the ditch, ran out of gas, flat tires. Donny is in back replacing brakes, CV joints, radiators, fuel pumps. UPS is dropping off stuff. The phone is ringing. I answer. 'This is Triple A in Petaluma. Do you know a Mr. Miller?" "Yes." "Well, he is at Ukiah Ford, in Ukiah, and his clutch has gone out." "Yes." "Well, he wants a tow to the Elk Garage." "Ok. I will get a hold of Bob Matson, the owner, he is out with the tow truck right now. I will call you back." I get Bob on the truck radio and tell him about it. The phone rings. "This is Triple A in Petaluma and Mr. Miller has decided do have Ukiah Ford fix his truck." "Ok." More gas customers and so on. Ring. "Elk Garage." "Triple A in Petaluma. Mr. Miller wants a Mr. Sted Worthing to come and get him. Do you know him and do you have his number?" "Yes. Wait one." I look up Sted's number and give it to her. "Ok. I'll call him. Bye." Ring. "Triple A in Petaluma. Mr. Miller has decided to have his truck towed to the Elk Garage after all. When can you come get him?" "I'll call Bob on the radio and find out." I call Bob on the radio. Bob calls Ukiah Ford. Ring. "Triple A in Petaluma. Mr. Miller is going to be towed to Elk by Dorseys Towing of Ukiah." "Ok." Ring. "Triple A in Petaluma. Mr. Miller has a doctors appointment in Ukiah. Ukiah Ford is going to take him to his appointment and when he is done they will return him to Ukiah Ford and call Dorseys to come get him. Then he will come to Elk. By the way, who is this Mr. Miller." I tell them that he is a very nice old man who has a wonderful flower garden and... is hell on clutches. Finally, at the end of a very long day I close up the Elk Garage and head out of town. Just north of Peg Frankels house I meet a tow truck coming my way. It's Dorsey. Mr. Miller is almost home to his flowers. From Bill Edison: Pepper Potpourri... Connor Bird, manager of the young jocks, upon seeing the pictures of the hairy Greenwood Pirates of the seventies in the Elk Garage window exclaimed, "Piece of cake, I could beat them by myself"...Baby Doc still beating the bushes for scabs, "don't call them replacement players". grumbles, "our new uniforms will hide many flaws"...Muto's Beachwhimps are working on their tans while Carleton's Women Warriors are practicing feverishly every Sunday. Says Captain Jim " were looking for players over forty who are slightly under the weather and will never give more than fifty percent"... The young teens did 'battle - practice' with the wind and women last Sunday after a weenie roast. Score: Women's 7 - Teens 5, wind boreal gale...Al Weaver, it is rumored, will be barbecuing chicken for the Pepper Martin Dinner. What is for sure, he will be opening his new restaurant at the Botanical Gardens in Fort Bragg, to be called the Gardens Grill. To think we might get a preview of his haute cuisine this April 30th...Two big questions; will 'Bad Knees' Ed Bird be able to mix margaritas after his stint as catcher for the Greenwood Pirates? and why was Lars Liljeburg swinging an imaginary baseball bat at the Elk Garage?...Finally there is a movement on to introduce Pepper Martin Day with a dance around the May Pole. I wonder why it's the women who want to keep this ancient spring ritual going? Greenwood Computer Club Update. The Club began operation in January 1995 with seed money from the Greenwood Community Center Board, the Greenwood Civic Club and individual donations. We aim for financial self-sufficiency by the end of 1995 through grants, fund-raisers, user fees and donations. The current user hours are Monday, Wednesday and Friday for children, Tuesday and Thursday for adults, from 4 to 6 p.m., staffed by the Lab Manager, Louis Martin. Remember. Up coming art auction at the Greenwood Community Church, May 6th from 1 - 4. Preview and silent bids, the weekend before, April 29th and 30th, from 11 - 2. April 20th, Finally, it is time for our annual Spring Break. Yep, time to load up the busses and head for the desert. This is the sixth year Lolli and I have ventured out with Ed and Suzanne for our yearly week of searching for a warm, quiet place to read our books. Some trips were quite successful, others were not. 1989 was the first year we introduced Ed and Suzanne to the desert, mainly the Panamint Valley, a valley just west of Death Valley. That was a good trip. 1990 was the year Lolli slipped and broke her leg in Saline Valley, a valley just north and west of Death Valley. We skipped 1991 because I was in Seattle for three months with my dad. 1992 was an excellent trip with an extensive visit to the Eastern Mojave Wilderness where we sighted many flowers and desert tortoise. 1993 started off with a dead battery and then a blown main oil seal in ROADCOW, my bus. We pulled the engine and replaced the oil seal on the outskirts of Yuba City in only 2 hours and 10 minutes! That was the year we traversed one of the worse roads in our experience; the east road down into Saline Valley; an all time off road adventure. Last year, 1994, we left with high hopes but spent most of our time in garages in Modesto, California City and Lancaster trying to fix a problem with SAGEFOX, Ed and Suzanne's bus. Each year, something memorable. This year we are once again heading out with high hopes. We want to go someplace warm and also to someplace totally new to us. We figured southeastern California would be a sure bet, some place over by the Arizona border. Suzanne had noticed a place called the Chocolate Mountains, east of the Salton Sea. "I want to go there", she said. Great! Let's do it. Later, I took off my glasses and got my nose up close to a map of the area. I discovered that the Chocolate Mountains are marked off as a gunnery range. Nothing like a nearby explosion to cause one to drop their book and spill their drink. Looking around that area I noticed, a bit further on, a place called Hell. I called Suzanne. "Hey, since it is Easter Week, why don't we go to Hell?" (Besides, since I started writing this column, many folks have told me to do just that.) So, Hell it is. Just a few miles past Hell there is a turn-off into the Chuckwalla Mountains. That area is identified as; "140,100 acres of roadless area. Hills, peaks, washes, ridges, bajadas, canyons, valleys, rocky spires, springs, fan palms, Bighorn sheep, desert tortoise, raptors, camping, backpacking, hiking, rock hounding, off highway vehicles". Sounds good. Anyway, that is the plan. Ed asked me not to make any plans this year, "They seem to cause trouble". Last year, he pointed out, I predicted 'trouble free motoring' and look where it got us", but I can't help it. The first night, I figure we will be dining out at the Basque Restaurant in Bakersfield and camping under the Joshua Trees south of Mojave. The next afternoon we should arrive in Hell. That's my plan anyway. Meanwhile, the dog is sitting by the bus with her tennis ball. She's packed and ready to go. And, some more filler from Bill Edison: "Muto's Beachwhimps, the team that will challenge the women on Pepper Martin Day are undergoing a mutiny. They want the name changed to the "Beach Seals"! I thought Elk beach seals are an endangered species; If so, the women have the game in the bag without a bark... Two old Greenwood Pirates are making the migration to play on April 30th: Steve Greenberg from Phoenix, who will be flying out at 5:30 a.m. on that Sunday to Oakland and is demanding to be picked up in a Limo for his trip to Elk. Dave Content has been discovered near the outskirts of L.A.. His demand is; "Just make sure I have number 3 on my jersey". Baby Doc is planning a pre-game Pirates party to bond these guys together. Will it never end or as Yogi Berra use to say "It's not over 'til it's over". So, start blocking out your calendar. Pepper Martin Softball Game, April 30th Art Auction at the Greenwood Community Church, May 5th. Computer Club Benefit Dance, middle to late May. Stay tuned. State Park Visitor Center open weekends, 11:00 til 1:00. April 27, Finally, it's over. The Sixth Annual Spring Break. (Ed says it was the seventh but what does he know?) Anyway, it's over. Every year we are attacked from an unexpected quarter, Lolli breaking her leg, my bus breaking down, Ed's Bus breaking down, Suzanne breaking down, but who would ever expect the dog? (I'll get to that in a moment.) So there we were, right on schedule, eating a fine Basque dinner in Bakersfield and then camped out beside the Joshua trees south of Mojave the first night, the busses running fine.. The second afternoon, just as planned, we arrived in Hell, or did we? I hollered at Ed on the CB, "Where is it?". He didn't see it either. According to our maps it should be right beside Highway 10 out past Desert Center. We took an off ramp and did a closer reading of our maps. Upon inspection they revealed a sandy road leading off into the sage brush that might take us there. We followed some power lines and then took a seldom used rut headed in the right direction and then we got stuck in loose sand. A bit of pushing and shoveling and we lurched on and arrived at the spot where Hell should be. The ladies read their books while Ed and I and the Dog searched high and low for Hell. We finally found it, we're convinced, but it was a disappointment, or a relief; all depends on how you look at it. Nothing left but busted concrete, bent water pipes and some trash. Evidently the new Highway 10 pretty much paved it over. Hell out of our system, we pressed on for the Chuckwalla Wilderness Preserve. We found that and a beautiful palm oasis with petroglyphs on the rocks. It was heaven compared to Hell but the sign said "dogs on leash" so to hell with that. We went on up the canyon and Ed got stuck in the sand at another beautiful spot. The next morning I demonstrated the technique of letting out the air in my tires in order to drive out of the sandy wash but Ed wasn't a believer. So we jacked and shoveled and pushed his bus for a hour and a half until he too became enlightened and let the air out. We then drove out of there and upon reaching the "good" road pumped them back up with my hand pump (don't leave home without one). From there on we were chased by high winds from place to place. We went into Arizona and down along the Colorado River looking for that warm peaceful spot but no, the wind and threatening rain chased us on. We did drive out to a geode area and camped in the sunshine but the wind never let up. Suzanne and Lolli found Geodes but Ed and I never could (must be a woman thing). Ed and I did excel at one thing though. We fired off a parachute bomb one evening and watched it come down in the star lit night and went over to see where it landed. It was hung up in a sticker bush with the parachute weight hanging almost exactly over a spray-painted bulls-eye someone had painted on a abandoned car hood! We had no idea the hood was even over there in the ravine until we went looking for the parachute. Bulls-eye! (Must be a guy thing.) Next, we went to a place called Glamis to get some ice, water and milk. It was worse than Hell. The women behind the counter were surly and could teach me a lot about being a gas pump jockey. Water was $2.75 a gallon, ice was outrageous and there were no toilets. To Hell with that! Off to the town of Campo to see the train museum. We got there in time for rain and wind. It almost snowed! This is eight miles north of Baja and 60 miles east of San Diego! The next morning we beat feet for the Tecoupa Hot Springs at the south east end of Death Valley. Ah, finally warmth and rest, but it was still windy. The next day we went for a hike through a wilderness preserve alongside the Aramagosa River. During the return trip the dog started acting weird. Remember the dog? By the time we got back to the busses she was starting to fall down and breath hard. We went back into Tecoupa and the Post mistress said the nearest vet was in Parump, Nevada, 38 miles away. Off we go. We checked her into the vet and they decided to keep her over night. Nothing left to do but go back to Tecoupa and spend a strange, dog-less, night down in a wash beside cottonwood trees and wait to call the vet in the morning. We made the call the next morning and found she was better and we could come pick her up. Happy dog, happy humans, sad checkbook. She had got into either bad water, loco weed, or coyote poison. She got an I.V, charcoal for toxin removal, a bandaid and a tranquilizer. $180.00 bucks. During our return trip we discovered Boonville to be the warmest, prettiest place during our whole trip. What can I say? The Sixth Annual Spring Break is finally over. From the desk of "Baby Doc": Pepper Martin time table for April 30th.. 12:30 May Pole Dance. 1:30 Kids game 14 and under. 2:30 Greenwood Pirates verses the Young Jocks. 3:30 Women Warriors verses the Beached Whimp Seals. 5:00 Margarita Bar opens, with live music from swing to Syrto. (Syrto music is provided by Olaf Palm and his wife Madge Strong.) 6:00 Pepper Martin Dinner and Awards. May 3rd, The Annual Pepper Martin Extravaganza, (fiasco) is finally over. 7:00 o'clock phone calls from Bill Edison are finally over, we can tear the posters down off our windows, now we can get on with our lives. The weather was threatening. Saturday it rained and the weatherman said that Sunday had a 60/40 chance for rain. "Baby Doc" Bill Edison was nervous. Folks were coming from miles away. Ads were being announced on KZYX, hundreds of chickens were in the cooler, Al Weaver was standing by with gallons of charcoal starter, What to do. What to do. I mentioned to Bill, during a pre game phone call, "Isn't it interesting how we have satellite weather photos, fax, cell phones, Newt Gingrich and we still don't know what tomorrow will bring. Pepper Martin Day finally arrived. The day dawned promising. The smell of baking bread from the Crouching Beaver filled the air. Vince Carleton and crew were on schedule. The fog lifted, the wind was down. Folks started to arrive in town. The short people gathered at the community center at noon for the May Pole Dance. Shug fired up his bag pipe and son of a gun, once again Laura Gates chicken laid an egg, just like last year. Over on the deck at Bob Matson's, a gathering of former Greenwood Pirates started to dribble in; Richie Peckner, Steve Greenburg, Louis Swartzberg, then David Content and Byron Kurekawa. I visited awhile and then headed out and set up the press box at the Field of Dreams, (one lawn chair). Finally, the full contingent of former Greenwood Pirates got it together and headed over onto the field and started throwing the ball around. Warm up. They looked pretty good. Greenburg at first base was snagging the ball with style, Pechner was leaping into the air, Kurekawa was swinging a bat. A couple of ringers had been added to the team, Gary Pholemann, and Bill Baker. Old time (full time) locals, Ed Bird, Raymond Berry, Dave Mallette and Bob Matson rounded out the team.. They were decked out in Pirate hats and jerseys. Hey hey. Alright. The Young Jocks finally arrived, in their pick-ups, and tossed the ball around some and then everyone cleared the field to watch the young kids play a exhibition game. The kids were all pretty hot hitters and the game ended with "The Team" winning over the "Minkus" - 20 to 18. Now it was time for the older but wiser Greenwood Pirates to put the Young Jocks in place. We all settled in for some serious baseball. First inning 4-0 Second inning 5-1 Third inning 10-1 Fourth inning 19-3. 5th inning Enough. Enough already. We quit. They never had a chance. Final score. 26 to 3. Once again evolution was proven correct. Survival of the fittest. The Greenwood Pirates limped off the field to lick their wounds. Next up, the final game. The Muto Beach Whimps faced the Women of Elk. The ladies looked good in their Elks Women T-shirts but then the rain started to come down. By the fourth inning it was Beach Whimps 18 to 2. But the women wouldn't give up. The men were whining and wanting to get out of the rain and head for the margarita bar. No way. Fifth inning 19 to 4. Sixth inning, 20 to 12. The women were on a roll but home plate was starting to float away. Everyone looked like drowned rats. That's it! Game over! The thought of dry shelter and Al Weaver's barbecue chicken had finally won out and everyone headed for the Community Center. I sat in with a table of former Greenwood Pirates and listened to their complaints. They couldn't believe those young whipper-snappers had kicked their butt. "That's Tim Fashaur? Well, I remember when Tim Fashaur was only this tall! That is Adam Steinbuck! Shucks, he was just a baby! Robbi Robison? No way! That can't be Robbi!" Then they reminisced about the good old days when soccer was played out on the field of dreams instead of baseball. How the hippies would go off to one end and fire up a joint while the local rednecks guzzled beer at the other end. How Everett Liljeburg would stand out there with his boots on. Always in the way, he was always in the way with those huge boots on. Those were the days. As everyone finished their chicken and dessert, Bill Edison went to the stage to announce the winners. For the Teen game Casey Helseth received the Grelk trophy. Connor Bird won the Greenwood Elk trophy for his outstanding ability during the Greenwood Pirates Versus the Young Jocks game. Adam Steinbuck won the Golden Spittoon for most guts and guile, which in this case was his awesome home run hits. Jane Lewis took the woman's trophy for most improved athlete and Anna Waldman received two tickets to the "A's" games for her spirit on the playing field. Olaf Palm and his wife started playing some music for our entertainment and the margarita bar got down to serious business. Memories started to flow and I headed out the door, into the downpour, to write my column. Another Pepper Martin Day in the bag. Pepper would be proud. May 5th. African Slide show at the Greenwood Community Center, at 8:00 pm. This is a free event. Sal Arsene, from Tanzaniz, good friend of Bill and Lydia Edison will show slides you won't forget. May 6th. Art Auction at the Greenwood Community Church. Don't miss it. May 13th. Dance at the Greenwood Community Center. Silver Fox will play. $5.00 door. Benefit for the Greenwood Computer Lab. |